It all begins with a High School guidance counselor explaining a job evaluation test. The student then bubbles in likes, hobbies, interests, and skills they believe they already have. Soon, the test will help the student find their “dream job.” The definition of “dream job” being a career that requires little effort beyond skills they naturally possess and matches their interests. Heaven forbid that a student should have to pencil in what kind of house, car, and living conditions they desire and then receive a list of potential jobs/salaries to match.

Armed with SAT scores and a boatload of overconfidence, the student marches into the higher ranks of the scholastic journey. These college students start off with a keen desire to learn and master their chosen major. This great sense of responsibility to higher learning lasts for exactly two weeks. At this point the student realizes that it would better serve their present goals to experience the cultural aspects of the university landscape while concentrating only hard enough to make sure they will graduate in four years… okay maybe five.

Hopefully, the job search begins before the student moves back in with their parents, but the student is now ready to start pursuing their “dream job.” Entry-level positions are few in their field and so they settle for an unpaid internship and later take the higher paying job at a retail chain store while they “figure things out.”

While exaggerated, this story is not unlike the one told by a Georgia State M.B.A. student who helps customers find doorknobs and toilet brushes at a Gwinnett Home Depot. The master of business wishes to remain anonymous because of the sheer embarrassment and complete since of failure that overcomes him whenever he now hears the word “business.” He excused his career path by saying, “I don’t know, I guess I thought it would be different. I got into my first office setting and it just wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I noticed a poster at a QuickTrip that said an assistant manager there is paid 41k a year. I thought that was way better than a free internship or even a 30k entry level position, so I went there before moving on to Home Depot.”

Business Week Magazine recently called these 20 to 30 year olds the “lost generation,” and predicted that the youngest workers out of college will continue to have a hard time getting and keeping jobs because many older, qualified workers are staying in the workforce longer.

Still, there is another theory. It’s called “digging in.”

So if you’re young, dumb, and full of…ambition… here are a few tips from the old school of WYAO (working your ass off) University.

1.) Let go your ego

You see, while a college education is certainly important, it can breed a unhealthy concentration on personal achievement and evaluates students based on individual performance. Unless a student attended a Technical College or went through a specific job-training course, the student isn’t going to have a clue of the actual work that needs to be done on the first day.

Drop all that crap about going out and “interviewing companies to fit your personal goals” mantra. In fact, whenever you hear anyone say they are “interviewing companies” just reach over and smack them in the face. Yes, its important to know who you are working for, and even more important to find a good match for your skills. JFK said best, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” If you honestly view your job as a stepping stone to your mythological “dream job,” then you’ve already failed. Jobs should be about serving the greater good of the enterprises and people who direct deposit our paychecks. Your employer has no responsibility to turn your current task list into a set of objectives to help you further achieve your own career goals. If your boss has that as an interest, then thank God because you’ve witnessed a miracle. Keeping your company objectives first, will make all the difference in the world. Work with fellow employees as a team. Most bosses don’t care as much about your individual performance as they do team performance and how well your skills can fit the overall good of the company’s direction.

So, be a servant, ignore the ageism, and loose the ego bub.

2.) Your boss is not your enemy.

In Hollywood you have to “pay your dues.” Talk with anyone in the entertainment industry and they will tell you some pretty gruesome stories about working as a producer assistant for the devil himself. Years later, they will each admit that they would’ve never made it to the silver screen without that experience. In college, students want professors to like them. They want to be bragged on. If an A+ isn’t granted there will be some red pen marks to explain the failure. In the work place, when you fail you get corrected or fired. If you weren’t fired, then be thankful and try harder. Try to take comments and criticisms, professionally rather than personally. Students must change the way to view a tough boss. If you can see work demands as challenges to bring out the best in you, you might have a fighting chance.

3.) Dig in.

When you think you can’t take anymore, stay longer. Don’t just quit the first dozen times you don’t get your way. In fact, some studies show that people who quit their jobs, are more likely to quit their next job. It’s just a basic truth. Talk with any of these young professionals who have given up on their careers and you will see, many of them just quit too soon. Walk out on your job, and you could also walk out on a most valuable lesson. Don’t miss a chance to grow personally through tough working conditions. While there are certainly reasons to leave a job, don’t just quit because you can’t take it or don’t like your boss. Dig in. What if life hands you something harder down the road? You may just need this learning experience to get you through something worse down the line. If you truly believe its time to move on, start your own business, or retool for another career, then give notice. But don’t leave because the pressure got to you, that’s just weak.

Gwinnett Business Journal Articles:

Gwinnett Unveils 2010 Budget

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8120&GMAGTagID=0

Social Media: Turn To The Pros.

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8121&GMAGTagID=0

The entrepreneur’s guide to the galaxy

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8123&GMAGTagID=0

Investing trends from web world.

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8124&GMAGTagID=0

To catch a thief

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8171&GMAGTagID=0

Busting security myths

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8173&GMAGTagID=0

Made in Georgia: The Auto Industry

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8192&GMAGTagID=0

Asbury Automotive, one year in Gwinnett

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8193&GMAGTagID=0

Insurance strategies to save your business money

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8194&GMAGTagID=0

Let’s go shopping for insurance

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8195&GMAGTagID=0

Local pastor leads the way in social media, gives away a free iPad.

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8225&GMAGTagID=0

Tools for business: The corporate video

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8229&GMAGTagID=0

Golf and Gwinnett: A look behind the greens

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8288&GMAGTagID=0

IT service providers

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8289&GMAGTagID=0

Seeing the world through CIBA Vision

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8304&GMAGTagID=0

Who is Hisense? Meet one of Gwinnett’s global giants

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8355&GMAGTagID=0

Privatizing Briscoe Field

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8343&GMAGTagID=0

Walk yourself happy: why walkable communities are important

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8344&GMAGTagID=0

In Your Face: Chuck Warbington

http://www.gwinnettbusinessjournal.com/content.cfm?action=story&WikiID=8347&GMAGTagID=0

19 Articles.

Blogs:

A look back at summer movies – 1985

http://www.dawsbrothers.com/2010/08/05/a-look-back-at-summer-movies-1985/

Georgia Films Top Box Office

Movies filmed in Georgia due to tax credit program to flood theaters in next few months

ATLANTA – Movies filmed in Georgia have grossed over $415 million at the box office so far this year, cementing the state’s position as a leading location for filming. Both “The Blind Side” and “The Crazies” are still in theaters and have grossed a combined total of more than $325 million at the box office. “Why Did I Get Married Too?” was released on April 2 and has grossed more than $48.5 million, including a fourth-place finish in last week’s totals. “The Last Song,” filmed mostly at Tybee Island and starring Miley Cyrus, opened March 31 and has grossed $42.4 million. “The Last Song” finished fifth in box office proceeds last week, placing two Georgia-made films in the top five.

At least three high-profile productions filmed in Georgia are slated to hit movie theaters in the next few months, including “The Joneses,” starring Demi Moore and David Duchovny, opening today.

“I signed the 2008 Entertainment Industry Investment Act to support of our efforts to recruit film, music and digital entertainment projects to Georgia,” said Governor Sonny Perdue. “These industries are thriving, growing and employing thousands of Georgians.Georgia’s diverse landscape, from the coasts of Savannah to the mountains of North Georgia, makes our state a prime location forfilm production.”

Entertainment productions in Georgia have increased 400 percent since the state introduced an aggressive tax credit package in 2008. More than 100 feature films, television series, specials and pilots have been produced in Georgia since then, helping catapult the state into the top five in the nation for film and TV production in 2009, and landing it in the top spot in the Southeast.

“Our ability to provide a variety of astounding locations, a highly-skilled workforce, significant infrastructure and cutting-edge tax incentives makes Georgia an extremely desirable place to film,” said Bill Thompson, deputy commissioner of the Film, Music & Digital Entertainment Division of the Georgia Department of Economic Development. “Georgia offers everything production companies are looking for, which has enabled us to attract projects ranging from TV series like ‘Vampire Diaries’ and ‘Drop Dead Diva’ to feature films such as ‘The Blind Side,’ ‘Zombieland’ and ‘The Joneses.’ We’re excited about the opening of ‘The Last Song’ and look forward to a successful run of all of these Georgia-made movies.”

The Georgia Entertainment Industry Investment Act provides an income tax credit of 20 percent to qualified productions, and an additional 10 percent tax credit to productions that embed a Georgiapromotional logo in the titles or credits, or as product placement within the content of the production. The tax credits may be awarded to not only traditional feature films, television series, commercials and music videos, but also to innovative new industries such as video game development and animation. Since Georgia increased its competitiveness in mid-2008, the program has generated more than $950 million dollars in direct investment, yielding an overall economic impact of over $1.6 billion to the state.

Filmed on Tybee Island and at the Georgia Aquarium, “The Last Song” is a coming-of-age drama film written by Nicholas Sparks and starring Miley Cyrus, Greg Kinnear, Kelly Preston and Liam Hemsworth.

“We’ve had a very positive experience with ‘The Last Song’ filming on Tybee Island,” said Lindsay Fruchtl, marketing coordinator of the Tybee Island Tourism Council. “The GeorgiaDepartment of Economic Development has been very supportive and helpful along the way and we welcome production companies to filmon Tybee Island. The Georgia coast has such a unique ecosystem and what makes Tybee Island so special is that we’ve got five miles of beach to work with and our close proximity to the Savannah area.”

Written and directed by Tyler Perry, “Why Did I Get Married Too?” is a comedy-drama film about four close couples gathering in the Bahamas for an annual one-week reunion. Tyler Perry Studios is located in Atlanta. Perry has filmed all his movies in Georgia, as well as his TV shows “Meet the Browns” and “House of Payne.”

Scheduled for release this summer are “Killers” and “Get Low.” “Killers,” starring Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl and Tom Selleck, was filmed in Atlanta, Douglasville, Buford and at Riverwood Studios in Senoia. Heigl’s character, Jennifer Kornfeldt, falls in love and rushes into marriage with Spencer Aimes, played by Kutcher. The two enjoy a picture-perfect marriage until they find out they are targets of a multi-million dollar hit job in the action comedyfilm.

“Get Low” is an American folktale and real-life legend about the mysterious, 1930s Tennessee hermit who famously threw his own funeral party. The cast includes Robert Duval, Bill Murray, Sissy Spacek, Lucas Black and Bill Cobb. The film was shot in locations inGeorgia that have changed little over the generations, including the small town of Crawfordville, the Gaither Plantation in Covington, a beautiful old church near Sparta, and Pickett’s Mill Battlefield near Dallas.

Coming to the big screen in November of this year is “Due Date,” a comedy film starring Robert Downey, Jr., Zach Galifianakis, Michelle Monaghan and Jamie Foxx. Downey plays a highly-strung, father who finds himself on a cross-country road trip with an aspiring actor. The film was shot at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, Atlanta, Hampton and Gainesville.

More than 700 film and television productions have been shot in Georgia since 1972, including “Driving Miss Daisy,” “Sweet Home Alabama,” “My Cousin Vinny,” “Forrest Gump,” “Fireproof,” “We Are Marshall,” “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil,” “Diary of a Mad Black Woman,” the Emmy Award-winning HBOfilm “Warm Springs,” “In the Heat of the Night” and “The Dukes of Hazzard.” These projects have generated $5 billion dollars in economic impact over the last 38 years. Entertainment fans can expect to see more Georgia scenery and actors on movie and TV screens as the state’s aggressive entertainment incentives, ability to provide a variety of settings, temperate weather, and excellence in customer service attract the world’s top productions.

Life is both beauty and chaos. Some of the most unexpected gifts create the most unexpected problems. Without back tracking through personal history, it is an elementary lesson that running from spiritual and emotional issues will only make temporary solutions. Sooner or later you have to come back to who you are, not that I’ve been playing a false role, but just that priorities and wants became more important than spiritual growth and self worth in recent years.

While I have grown professionally, and gotten to experience all kinds of amazing things in my career, none of it has truly fulfilled me the way I wanted. I kept pushing work and tasks ahead of others, myself, and even God if I am honest. It only got worse and worse as time went on. Work was on the top of my priorities, and my want really was to do what everyone told me I would never be able to do… make films. While it can be said that I did accomplish that goal in someway, I can’t really say that its made me successful. Even if I had sold a film for millions of dollars by now, that would not mean I am successful. What makes you “real” in your profession has nothing to do with how far your career goes and everything to do with how your character grows. It is true that in a given day there are more tasks than I can possibly accomplish, and some stuff I want done, are just not going to get done. If I continue to live my life based off of what I think I need to get done, then there is a good chance I will miss life completely.

While a lot of work has been done in recent years, my character suffered. The false security a busy life can provide you is amazing. For one, we make an agreement with ourselves that this busy life is our only answer towards the security we seek, and so we marry our decision to become a workaholic. You tell yourself that you are doing what is necessary to “get things done.” All of a sudden you think the world around you “doesn’t get it.” It seems like even God doesn’t really care about the priorities and success of your art. So, you tell yourself that if you want to truly make it, you need to forget about climbing ladders while supporting yourself, and just taking the risk and “going for it.” (What “it” is… I don’t think can be defined, but somehow we guess that we will know it when we get it.) This all is a good sign that we really don’t believe that God will take us where we will truly find that “it.” Instead of letting God drive, we kill ourselves trying to hold our world up alone.

Instead of seeking God, and identifying the real root of the desire to succeed or prove something, you declare yourself “too busy” and say, “I’ll figure it out when I get the time.” Isn’t it so convenient for us that the time never comes. Even as deadlines pass far behind you, the purposeful distraction keeps you from exploring issues of the heart, or taking an honest inventory of a life in ruins. Because I have been so busy over the years I have lost friends, clear direction from God, and my task sheet makes an excuse that makes it okay for me to loose those things.

No matter who I lost out on relationship with, or how incredibly single I was, or how often I missed birthdays and important spiritual holidays… I didn’t feel guilty about any of it. The false agreement that, “it is what it is” was killing me. The counter response to deeply disappointing everyone around me and spitting on family traditions, was made okay because I thought to myself, “I am responsible because I am getting things done.” I thought I would just pay them back for all of the time away and thousands of dollars I borrowed or had them invest in my projects.

Because of the way God will run to his prodigal sons once they start to head back in His direction, I began to understand my real rebellion. I have used work to avoid relationships that have potential to hurt me, and the pursuit of dreams allowed me to ignore that my life is a wreck both financially and spiritually. My busy life became both my source of getting out of my own reality and an excuse for circumstances that I told myself were simply out of my control.

When you marry your work, you make an agreement that there is no other choice and that letting go, and letting God work, is just an excuse for giving up… which is just evidence that you have no faith whatsoever that God both wants you to be happy or will give you what you need. My fear has been that what I needed and what I wanted were two different things, and so I was running from what I needed to get what I wanted. Faith is unique in that what you say you believe doesn’t count for anything. I even have heard myself say, “I believe that, but maybe if I get this thing done then I can start to think about that.” Basically, I was saying to God… “I am too busy right now to have faith in you.” I wonder how that works when it comes from the other direction; I wonder why life has become a wreck in the areas I have ignored him in. Basically, I have been telling God, “I got this… thanks, but really, I want to do it myself.” That pretty much is the same as saying, “I don’t believe you are who you say you are, did what you said you did, or will do what you have promised to do for me.” Therefore, what I have said I believed, I did not truly believe because I wasn’t doing anything about it.

James 2:14 -24
14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. 18But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. 19You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. 20You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? 21Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. 24You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.
Another passage of scripture that comes to mind this Easter deals with making a choice to follow after Jesus. Sometimes, that means walking away from what you love the most. For me, that actually has been my work… and so, in making wise decisions to give my life’s direction completely over to Christ I’m sure some will have a problem with me, and even feel betrayed. But, I am simply not laying down my responsibilities; I will continue to pay for the consequences associated with my choices to believe work is first priority, and attempt to help in whatever ways I can. I will work as if unto the Lord, but learn to rest and set new priorities. With each decision I make regarding work, I will now take to prayer to get a word from God on what I should do. Not everyone is going to be okay with that direction, because what God knows to be right, may not sit well with other people’s goals for my life, or even my own.

Matthew 10:34- 39
JESUS SPEAKING:
34“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35For I have come to turn “‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law 36a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
37“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

I have simply loved my work and my future dreams more so than God, and for that I repent. Not once the work is done, but now, and today. Because I am not promised another breath on this earth, and in the big picture, nothing is as important as that relationship. “Whoever finds his life will lose it”… I feel sorry for those that gain the world, and all their wants, but loose everything God had for them. “Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” This gives me reassurance that the direction God has given me in prayer about the decisions I am now making, will lead to something greater than I could ever plan or work out for myself. So, while it is hard to step away or back off from certain things, I will give up that part of my life for God, in order to find what I truly need.

Let it be done.

This decade has been full of ups and downs; full of growing up and growing backwards at times. It has been a story about you, a story about me, and most of all a story about God. After all we play a small role in the big picture right? We are just a leaf that has sprouted on a spring day only a little while later kissed by the fall time air, and then we are gone. It really puts life in perspective when you realize how little time is left. It hopefully makes you value the people you know, the things you’ve got, the faith you hold, the places you’ve been, and just maybe think about your contribution to humankind as well. I hope it makes you smile, and it probably does if you are of the “cup is half full” variety. However, sometimes life isn’t so great. Sometimes are stories don’t seem to have a packaged happy ending on the way. Our stories can work for us to bring understanding and put that realization into certain terms for us or they can work against us when most of our stories tend to be excuses and not really the retelling of our life events in their historical context. We can manage that though, because we are usually the ones telling our stories.

While story is pretty much the way we communicate in this world, sometimes just the telling can add more fiction than we think. I am not talking about those crazy liars you may know. The ones who have claimed to do more than they have, or possess more skill than they ever really show. I am also not talking about whatever version of yourself you choose to project when you are around others, or the stories you might tell that you think will let everyone get to know you best. I’m talking more about stories we tell ourselves in this little posting.

I have spun you a brief tale about the last decade. My career, my thoughts about romance, my thoughts about my faith, my relationships, my settings, and my things… but everything that happened could not be written there right? Of course not, it took a full ten years to live every detail and probably twice as long to describe it all. What would be the point of the story I wonder? What is the reason behind most of our tales? More than who, how, or what, is why. Why I am who I am. Why we acted the way we acted. Why we did what we did…. Then, we get into the details of who we are, and how we did it, etc. etc. But I have this little suspicion that this thing we do without even noticing is to make excuses primarily around those things stirring in our own hearts. We want it to be okay to be us. We want people to know why we acted that way, and we want people to say, “well that makes since.” But all of that is really just us making “excuses” for being the sacks of crap we all are. If you listen close it isn’t to hard to hear whatever someone is really trying to say when they tell a story, and I am as guilty as anyone else. Its something we all do, and if we know everyone does it, then trying to hide our “stuff” in a story just isn’t going to work.

Really confident people don’t have blogs. Maybe a few do… that might be a lot to say… but, you can read through any one of these decade postings and hear an argument for “WHY I AM WHO I AM NOW.” If you look back further you will see WHY I was hurt by the church thus giving myself an excuse to leave it.. You will see why I am single… lots of work, broken heart, the one that got away etc. You will see how my so called successes are built up to say that Im worth something… but at the end of the day these stories are my excuses. It is that way for most of us I think. The more people that believe us, the more people that will follow us on twitter. In the past 10 years the biggest things I really gained were actually not the best kinds of things. I was filled up inside with more guilt, more greed, more jealousy, and more anger… and my stories became more of my excuses as time went on. Those fearsome heart favorites of mine drove me and fueled me, and wrote a lot of my stories. I guess I rather spend time with my excuses than fix these things, and I think a lot of people live that way. A lot of people tell us those stories. I don’t have all the answers, but I do want to just say that, if love is all it claims to be in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 then I want to start living like it. I don’t want my stories, my movies, or my life to be made up excuses for the way I interact with the world and the people in it. The “that’s just the way I am” mentality of most people on the planet isn’t an act I want to follow anymore. Sure I will be jealous of people whos talents threaten me, or whos good looks may ruin my chances with a girl… but maybe I should build them up instead of tear them down. After all, they can’t do anything to make themselves less talented or less attractive can they? When I am angry, I’ve got to let it go. Ive got to forgive, holding on too it isn’t going to fix a thing. No matter what they stole, Ive got to just choose to give that thing away. When I find myself thinking about more stuff, or food, or money, or even being greedy about my time, I’ve got to learn to give it away. Finally, when I feel guilty I don’t need to make excuses… I need to ask someone to forgive me. I’ve got to learn to confess more often. These exercises beat the crap out of telling stories, or posting blogs, or writing songs, or whatever way you “express yourself.” You will be happier and so will the people around you. This is what most of scripture leads us to do on a daily basis to renew our hearts and minds. I mean you can’t really do more than that. If you find yourself with one of those 4 issues, solve it with the opposite ASAP. No, matter what you think “you deserve.” Christ died for you… so shut up.

You can’t squeeze your happiness out of anything or anyone, but almost all of us are trying something that and it isn’t going to work. My advice for the next ten years is to figure out what that is, and stop. Give up. Let them go free. Let it go free. You have to decide to be happy just like you have to make a choice to love, and remember that Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor 13: 4-7 )

… and, all you need is love. –John Lennon.

[dailymotion]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x15f3t_the-beatles-all-you-need-is-love_events[/dailymotion]

Its been a great decade…. Here’s to a new story of ten more.

THE END…

… OF THIS ONE.

For a long time I think I measured my worthiness by 1.) how much I was paid, and 2.) what stuff I could get. When the decade began I didn’t have much, but it didn’t take me long to build a large DVD collection….… and drive a brand new GMC High-Rider truck, part of the ego that came with my job selling electronics for Best Buy. It was apart of the job to reinvest our paychecks into the coolest toys we could accumulate. It took me a long time to figure out how to use technology to advance a lifestyle, instead of allowing technology to be a lifestyle. Today you could probably accuse me of having some pretty cool toys… but my macs, iphone, or HD camera are not toys for me as they once were, they are tools, and trust me, somedays I wish I didn’t need them around as much as I do.

The next mistake I made after selling my truck and changing my career was in the clothing department. I found some really cool clothes and paid way to much for them. I traded a few toys and a car payment for a used Isuzu Trooper and Diesel or True Religion Jeans.

Don’t get me wrong, its still a temptation, but “function” comes before “form” these days and for the last few years I’ve been constantly shrinking the clothes I buy from Target, Kohls, or TJ Max in my washer. I really kind of hate it, but I deal. Its just not that important these days as things that are needed. However, as you will soon see, substituting one kind of purchase for another does not remedy the root of the problem.

In building a business, I am sure we bought more than we needed in certain areas, but for the most part I think we made the right choices. However, my last battle was a battle that many people don’t think too much about until they start counting pennies. After all, I wasn’t buying the coolest toys, I wasn’t collecting DVDs or playstation games anymore, and I wasn’t buying the expensive trendy fashions. I was however, just eating wherever and whatever without a second thought. I have always been extravagant when it comes to restaurant choices and when I look in the mirror today I know I’ve paid for it twice.

I ate money for the last few years in the form of sushi, fine Italian, and whatever New York or South Beach could throw my way. Not wise. I justified this by my sacrifice of expensive jeans I could no longer wear if I wanted too along with all that other “stuff.” History repeats itself.

My last lesson learned is sitting in my drive-way. A few years ago I bought “too much car.” I justified it as a “gas saving purchase.” It was true that the gas prices had made my suburban un-driveable, but did I really need a GT convertible?

(I suppose Pontiac is wondering if they should have ever made the thing these days.) I think it was an outward signature of something that represented how far I thought I had come in life. Whatever that means. It was my, “hey, Im a producer,” car. Today, it has its moments of ZEN when I have the roof down and I’m driving a little too fast for my own good, but at the end of the day its just not worth it. It’s like anything else in life. We start out needing what we want, and we end up wanting what we need. I think I’ve gotten to a place where I just want what I need. I’m making the readjustments I believe are needed to get me too the next place God is taking me and Im happy about it. So, I am going to look and see whats best in reference to my car. I may sell it, I made trade it in, or I may refinance and keep it if I see I’m only a few months away from having it paid for. But again, I must realize that I am that guy with gas reaching for the TUMS. I have found a way to rid myself of symptoms but still am struggling with some kind of heart issue, one that I will have to face if I am really ready to stop this kind of behavior.

On the surface I suppose you might think my message is “idolatry is a tricky punk, and it sneaks up on the best of us.” But that’s really not the point. I think it’s deeper, and I think its different for everyone. So whatever lesson I have to learn, may not not be one that I can use to teach with. I have more to say, but will not say it here. I think I will save it for my final post in this series on the previous decade, coming soon…

…to be continued.

Setting can make all of the difference. When thinking back on some of my fondest memories these last ten years, and while who you are with matters most, where you are at comes in a close second.

I am going to just name a few locations that would have to be scouted if someone where to ever tell my life story correctly.

1.) As much as I hate to admit it, number one is probably the MALL OF GEORGIA. I have had so many memorable, horribly embarrassing, and crazy moments around that mall. I remember the day it opened in 1999. I worked at the Best Buy across the street for 3 years. In the “Watch World” for a short stint in 2004, over in Borders for about a week in 2006, and spent the majority of this last year in a townhouse close to the Mall area in Buford right behind where the new Gwinnett Stadium was just built. When I wasn’t working around the mall I was shopping there, hanging out there, shooting some video there, or trying to talk to girls there. The place I frequented no matter what group I was hanging out with, the mall, as most malls do, had something for everyone. These days I usually just pop in and out to pick up something, but this place definitely is filled with more memories than stores.

2.) Number 2 is kind of a combination of sorts. After working 3 years for Best Buy and gaining my associates from Georgia Perimeter, I furthered my education by attending Georgia State University in Atlanta, Georgia. While years of my life were spent surfing MARTA and walking down city streets with headphones ablaze, no particular part of Atlanta mattered more than Little 5 Points. Sure, there were many cool music venues (Marv 3/Butch Walker shows), a few cool hangouts, Thrasher games, but Little 5 maintained its staying power. At first it was a place to spend my paychecks. I bought most of my wardrobe in college from Clothing Warehouse and Junkman’s Daughter. The rest I bought from Bloomingdales or Urban Outfitters at Lenox. I find it somewhat strange that my first two locations seem to be surrounded with fashion. Hmmm and I digress… This was my place to come when I needed a reinvention or just needed to find a new band to listen too. It was a great spot to meet a friend and pour out hearts over coffee too. Little 5 was also a place of work. I shot many street interviews there for Neil Schulman’s “Who Nose?” screenings, and also got to rent out 7 Stages Theater for a week for “Light In The Darkroom’s” rehearsals. I got into my first bar fight in Little 5 and my only regret was I did not get my first tattoo there. I really want a Vortex burger right now.

3.) Athens Ga. is number 3. I was there more in college than I was at Georgia State…well not really, but its not like I had a real college town of my own okay. I visited friends, went to social gatherings, a football game or two, and plenty of concerts both in attendance and behind the mic. After Problem Thomas wrapped up, Levi Lowrey and The Community House Band took over that place. It was a great pleasure seeing them play all the venues I wished I would have gotten a chance to play including the famous Georgia Theater…R.I.P.

I’ve just had too many amazing nights in that town to leave it off the list. I’ve had a few romantic comedy moments, and a few heart wrenching WB or CW moments. Shot a few things in this town as well; an interior design show, a short film, and a friends engagement to his future bride. Pretty good memories overall.

4.) I hate some of the places I have spent a lot of my life… its true, I hate Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Pigeon Forge sucks. I hate these little funnel cake stands in the mountains but I have been well paid to frequent these locations over the last 10 years. I will never pay to go there. I will never go there even if I don’t have to pay. I only go, when I am paid, this is how much I hate this town. The only thing good about this place is that they have cheap knifes, cheap boots, and Christian chesse slogans like “Jesus Got Er Done” on shirts sold by Indians. Not Native Americans, your thinking of Cherokee North Carolina (home of the most redneck casino in the south.) No, these are actually Indians from India. While there I was once pitched a movie idea entitled, “From Bollywood to Dollywood,” from a tobacco shop owner… Why is this one of its good points… its really not, because there are none. Still my life would not be the same without the Great Smokey Mountains. Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge have not been retreats for personal refreshment though; my place for that over the last 10 years has been none other than Clayton, Ga. While Blueridge, Ga substituted for a few mountain trips, once upon a time Problem Thomas and friends would retreat once a year to Wee Ham, our little home in the hills of Clayton Georgia. A bit of fishing, music, and whatever trouble we could get in always brought us back to the core of what was important in this life. Somewhere along the line we stopped our yearly retreat and instead used Clayton as the town for heartbreak recovery. Anytime any of us had girl problems we went there to forget or to regroup. Each of us had a moment of reckoning occur there in the saddest moments of our twenty-something lives. Finally, an end to this tradition came when Dustin McNeely got married in Clayton and stopped the vicious circle this year. Thanks Dustin. We probably needed that.

5.) Lawrenceville, Ga. It’s quite possible that Lawrenceville Square should be the number one location in my life. I grew up there. Opened my first bank acct there. Played little league there. But, this is a list of places of importance in this last decade. And as much as the square means to me, I didn’t really rediscover its magic until… wait… 2002… hmmm. Okay, this is awesome. I am now going to replace Lawrenceville Square as my number one place. Why? Because its my list. I’m too lazy to actually put it at the top though. This way its better, because you thought I wasn’t saving the best for last, but really, I kinda did. Yeah, this place started off as a rough square that was in need of repair. “Historic,” was a name we called it to be nice. Still, it had its charms. One of which was “THE FLYING SAUCER.” This little place became my home away from home. It was my “Cheers,” where everyone knew my name. We played music all the time there. Hosted events. Saw the place grow and grow. I had some of the most romantic moments in my life in that square and the ghost of those memories may even be on the ghost tour for all I know. The town today is much different and much more commercial than it once was. I can’t complain though. I was a member of the tourist association there and Life Is My Movie Entertainment had our first offices there for the last 3 years. It was the only choice for me that made since and connected back to my core. It meant a lot to me to be apart of things there as a business owner and I think I needed it more than it needed me. I loved walking the sidewalks, visiting my newfound friends, attending shows at the Aurora, and even went so far to produce a tourism promo for the city. Lawrenceville, Ga. will always remain close to my heart, and I hope the changes don’t take it too far away from the simple entertainment and magic that came from the mystery and wonder of just walking through its ruins and trying to figure out what used to be in that “weird looking building.” It’s sort of funny to think that people pay to go on tours of that square now. It was a lot more fun when we were trespassing.

OTHER TOP SPOTS:

VENUES: Cheetah Marie’s: A great little coffee house we used to play often in downtown Monroe. CJ’s Landing: We will miss you. One of our favorite venues torn down in the Buckhead remodeling. JP ROCKERZ: This venue in Cumming that was shutdown after we played a 96 rock show there, it wasn’t very important except that it was after this shutdown we realized that the venues we were playing were one by one going out of business. By the time we had grown into the Masquerade it was also in fear of being shut down and yet it still thrives today, so that’s good. Of course 106 West in Winder is the venue that was also shut down after a gig we played. We didn’t give up on that venue and hung around to play benefits to get it back open to the public and often visit and hang out there today. It was a lesson in commitment that was well learned.

BEACHES: Anna Maria Island was a place of retreat and refreshment over the last decade that somehow always became whatever I needed it to be at different times in my life. Fort Walton Beach, was the town where I was planted many summers for SUPERWOW, the Georgia Baptist summer youth camp. I created and directed years of video content there and lived there at least a month out of the year for 4 years. The prequel event IMPACT in Taccoa, Georgia also deserves an honorable mention as well. Finally, Panama City Beach was home for our beach family. From 96 till just this last year we would meet and really have a wonderful time. If I were to ever write a coming of age movie, it would be based on the events that occurred there over my time growing up one week at a time.

In the last part of this decade I have gotten to see a lot of the country and also a few other countries, but it seems my favorite part of these places are the parts that remind me of the magic and wonder that home once possessed and may possess again.

WHERE I LEFT OFF….

Well, as usual, I am confused. Where as I wrote before that I doubted that para-church events have done anything other than entertain, I must say that the intentions of those putting it on are pure enough. I got a chance to talk a little with some of the leadership and any fault I have pointed out is clearly accidental. Although, when it comes to marketing they do not question using contemporary means… but that’s not a necessarily a bad thing. We get to travel around and turn arenas into worship centers and I suppose that is a pretty cool thing. I think its better to do and question, than to do nothing. However, it is my opinion that events must be more than just big draw speakers and top ten Christian artists. There is much we can do to create environments of worship, but a large part of it is in the hands of the people who buy the tickets to come. This event in South Carolina has rocked. Its pretty much the same lineup as usual, but something is different here and I like it. Perhaps it is the attendees, there were a lot of complaints about how ill and mean the women at the last conference were to one another. Or perhaps after a week back at home I am more refreshed and more focused on what God wants to do in my own life that brings on this feeling, but whatever it is… I’m back to thinking that these events do matter… Its just not what I’m supposed to spend most of my time thinking about.

So… I may direct on the circuit again… never say never, right. I may need some money one day, and these gigs pay pretty dang well. I’m not gonna lie. But… for now, I am done thinking about it. It’s time to try something different. The production game of keeping up with the Joneses is tiresome. The trying to stay innovated and updated on the latest technology ALL OF THE TIME will kill your soul. Worrying about the next cool thing that’s going to come along a snatch away your livelihood prohibits you from enjoying the present. The worrying about the next cool production company that will take your place, or the kid you trained taking away your contracts because the ministry doesn’t want to pay you 1,200 bucks when they can pay your intern 500 for a week, all of these very real problems… I rather have them in some other profession. Its not the ministry part I’ve been upset with… Its been the business side, that and our obsession for emulating the entertainment culture, but if you have read any of this blog, you’ve figured that out already. So, lets get on with it. This post is about something more authentic… relationships.

Over my whole life some of these people have helped to shape me, but this is really a big shout out to those who have really been a huge part of my life in the last ten years.

PEOPLE

My Family first: My grandmother is one of my best friends and full of wisdom. My grandpa continues to teach me about hard-work. My mother pleads with me to humble myself before the Lord constantly and my Dad teaches me to kick back and relax when the stress builds up. My brother challenges me to reach in and experience the unknown and to always seek out the people who the Church has a hard time reaching. And a thanks to all my extended family that are very supportive.

Jason Britt: A.K.A. The knock on my door which introduced me into video-ministry. Jason has a wild knack for uncovering hidden talent and I’ve got to say, that if he had not knocked on my door and talked with me, I would have no idea what video in churches were even about.. He’s a true delegator who can use the strengths of those around him to the best of whatever goal is trying to be accomplished. He’s the best at what he does, while some may see a finger pointer, Jason’s true talent is discovery. He has a goal, he keeps things simple, he finds those around him that are the best at what they do and he encourages them enough to get them going and rags them enough to keep them motivated in trying to prove themselves. He was the first real producer I’d ever met, and if he ever needs a thing, he knows all he has to do is ask me.

Doug Couch and Scott Kindig: I put these guys together, because that is how I best remember them working at the Georgia Baptist Convention. One task driven the other relational, I could not have had two better guys at what they did for the youth camp circuit as leaders. They told me what they wanted, provided the means to do it, and let me off the leash to be creative. If ever I strayed, they pulled me back into the vision and it worked.

Deana Whitman: My best friend in college. Her passion for living is intoxicating, she taught me to never give up on chivalry, to live an adventure, and never cease being true to the better half of yourself, and she lives today by what she taught me long ago. She’s a successful risk-taker and the definition of “out-of–my-league.” Today, I enjoy our phone chats that always seem to go a little longer than each of us allow for in our busy schedules. My favorite thing about Deana is that she has always given 100% in our friendship, even when our friendship was almost just a mist away from non-existent. She always came out to shows, movies, ministry, whatever I had been up to at any particular time, while we live in different worlds today, there is not a part of anything I’ve done that she has missed totally. She knows how to show support and encourage like no one else I have met. I only wish I could re-pay that somehow.

Carl Pennington: He started out as a mentor and friend when I started out on the camp circuit and later allowed me the great honor of hosting a short lived Christian TV series that was a lot of fun to do. Carl taught me how to pull the all night editing session.

Catherine and Faith Scupin: It’s a weird relationship by all accounts from the first moment at a camp called impact. It was the first friendship that ever just straight up called me into it before I knew what it was. “Hi, Im Catherine, we’re going to be great friends.” (It really doesn’t get any simpler and more exact than that.) When I can’t see the clouds around me, I have these friends to help me clear the view, and they have me in return. These girls are always there. Not here. They are “there.” We don’t live in each others stories everyday but we review each others stories from time to time… and that’s the role we share for each other. They keep themselves aware that there is a villain and enemy that is also at work in the world that we have to look out for. They remind me to fight for others when I forget and usually remind me that all is not right for a reason.

Jeff Ransom: There is only one Jeff Ransom. He’s a dying breed of production guys. He (like myself) loves to take in misfits and bring them into ministry events. His philosophy is, “if it aint broke, don’t buy a new one. If it is broke, fix it.” Jeff has hired me in good times and bad times, he’s been supportive like a parent in everything I’ve done; from investing in films to hiring my family members and friends when they needed an extra hand in life. The ministry I have done with Jeff has nothing to do with the events we produce and everything to do with the people on our crew, he gives me fresh faces to talk to about God and ministry and while sometimes the events can be rough work, they have been a constant stream of employment in good and bad times. He has never given up on me, so I shall be there for him until the end.

I’ve been able to work over 300 Christian conferences or business leadership conferences with Jeff, I’ve met Oliver North, Gen. Walter Buchannan, and with a little luck, I’ll get to meet George W. Bush this fall. I’ve also fallen in love with those fighting to heal autism while working with Jeff. I’ve gotten to work several events, together we marched on the capitol with Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy and when Problem Thomas played we wrote a song for the cause and traveled with Jeff to New York to share it with parents of autistic children. It really is an important cause, and message, and I’ve always liked to be around people who don’t just complain about issues, but actually do something about it. Of course I never imagined so many people would actually be against this fight. I think its because people think that these parents and organizations are seeking to rid the world of vaccines. This is not the case, they simply wish to Green vaccines, to take elements that could be harmful out of the vaccines. However, the controversy builds and most people rather go on living their lives than think deeply about anything.

VIDEO: COMING SOON!!!

Vincent Vittorio and family: You can’t spend three years everyday with someone and not mention them. But other than that I don’t have much else to add…. No, I’m kidding… I knew Vincent as an over-achiever and class president of Dacula High back when we ruled the school’s news program. We reconnected during one of the unsure chapters in my life. Vincent jumped off the edge of the earth with me when no one else would. He picked up his sword along side me when no one else would. We’ve accomplished the unexplained and the unimaginable, met countless people who think they are important, did some pretty cool things while we were in Gwinnett County, and made a few feature films when everyone told us we couldn’t. He helped me see the world through a different set of eyes and also encouraged me to keep on going with my own education and of course never settling. He’s come a long way in his relationships with people and God since I met him and I know God brought us together to settle a few core issues in both of our lives as well as show us what is truly important in life. I wouldn’t have wanted to spend a million or so bucks with anyone else… except maybe a wife… which I don’t have.

The Daws family: What can I really say. I grew up with them, played a ton of music with some of them, made films with some of them, went to Georgia State with two of them. They are always a source of entertainment, encouragement, and also a reservoir of inspiration to follow dreams and enjoy life and God. I should really say more, but the adventure is on going and ever changing and this story hasn’t reach a place for the telling quite yet, but when it is, it shall be an epic.

The Lowrey Family: It’s still kind of weird thinking of Levi and Steph as a family unit, but they are a full on family and have been for a long time. I suppose I think of them as friends first, but they were probably the first of my close friends to get married. They are fun loving, passionate people who dream big, and work unconventionally hard to make those dreams come true. Levi has always had a profound understanding of meeting God where you are without the need to shower or cover-up first and when we have time to talk about life and God, its always a good time. Im excited for all the success I knew would come their way eventually. Check out www.levilowrey.com

Dustin McNeely: Dustin is my hero. He’s been there for me when I really needed a pal. I was also his Prom date because of a bad car accident. And speaking of which, about a year or so ago we were all going white water rafting and I hit Dustin’s car and put a giant dent in his passenger side door. All he could think about was the girl he was dating, so I somehow got out of it… I knew he had fallen for this girl, so I prepared myself for some good talks in little five-points or another trip to Ireland with the guy. I felt like doomsday must be coming for my dear friend… and when I met her… I knew it was over for Dustin. He was going to be dead in two months from heart failure. Its tough to get over a girl, its tougher to get over a girl your in love with. But the toughest thing to do is get over a girl far more beautiful than most other girls that you also are in love with… call me shallow… it’s the truth. But then a weird thing happened. Dustin accomplished the most amazing thing ever and somehow tricked her into falling in love with him. I just went to the wedding a month ago, and by far, it was the most fantastic wedding I have ever attended. They went all out with waterfalls, bonfires, lots of people, free drinks, and wow, what a setting. I couldn’t be happier or more proud than to call Dustin a brother. (also… a little known fact… but Dustin was actually the first bass player in Problem Thomas, playing the VERY first show at Dacula Methodist back in 2001.) Dustin is my hero.

The Bowen family: I’ll keep my affection for this particular family in check here. I want to be as PC as possible. Sometimes our favorite characters come from the craziest of stories… whenever I am around them, I can always count on the story being interesting and full of plot twists and unpredictable goodness. Abby’s friendship stands out there, and I thank her for teaching me to stay focused, because when you loose focus, everything becomes unclear and you loose things you never knew you had in you. I’ve never seen more people care about the stupid things I would do, or heard more people talk crap than when I spent time with Abby. It sometimes, was like hanging out with someone famous in PEOPLE Magazine. One thing is for sure, only we know how things really went down… The story is now an epic forgotten by our readers, just as any of last year’s issues of People Magazine. But the real story, I shall never forget.

The Tollerson Clan: Thom and Becky were the luckiest find ever. I called Thom to get Problem Thomas into a battle of the bands… (which we won I might add) and things started off with a bang. We built a relationship with them in Winder and played at their music venue 106 West a good bit. Their daughter Sarah became a close friend of ours and we loved to see her play in Athens before her trip north to Boston. Disaster struck 106 West when the roof collapsed five or so years ago. Our relationship was strengthened even more when we were no longer just playing music, but we were cleaning up and helping to make repairs. Its often in the hard times that we find out who our friends are. I hope we were able to show how much we really cared for these people during that dry season. My brother really invested himself in that and helped to start a music shop with them. Today 106 West is back up and running better than ever. They have become close friends and are dearly loved.

Alex Wainer and Ray Miller: For being the coolest professors at Georgia State and who made me want to know more than I could ever learn… smart guys… I hope to be like them one day.

Greg and Donna Wilson: For pushing me to play out at live at events and songwriter venues. I started out playing at inside the song in Winder and played my first music festival with Greg in Macon back in 2000. A departure from playing churches back then.

Kelli, Ivy, and Cynthia: I feel like I met these girls on the island of misfit toys… mostly because that is how I felt when I first met them. When I needed friends to just be friends, when I didn’t want advice or some kind of logic, they gave me fun. They gave me themselves and we never really did anything but hang at my house or out in the woods by a fire at Kelli’s. But we did that often enough to be a significant part of my life in the past three years and so just wanted to show you girls some love. Now, that each of you are off to new things in life, I wanted you to know you made me feel like I was a friend who didn’t need to bring anything to the table or prove myself in order to be a part of your lives and that’s a priceless and rare thing. Yall rock on.

My Beach Family:

We will always love and miss Sheri Black, the queen of our crew. I was so lucky to have known her, and I think that everyone that knew her probably feels that way. We all came together, for a moment that resembled a long running series finale episode this last Thanksgiving as our beach family gathered together as Sheri wished. A sweet and dear departing it was. Sheri, never quite made it back to Shreveport, but she certainly went home. She left in her own way, unique to every other story of loss, she wanted to be at the beach and so we went… and it ended as it ended, and that’s it. My love goes to Robert the King of our crew and Kim. The Anderson’s have provided many storylines of intense action and laughter. Holly got married a few years ago, and Matt will tie the knot this summer putting an end to many years of us guys trying to pick up chicks while on vacation. HAHA. Steve and Terri come to visit often. Evan Baton also, now married… is this in the water? Whats the deal huh? We also have to say howdy, to the loveable Becky and gocart aggressive Jon Baton. Carl and Billy and all of the vacation castaways we picked up and adopted along the way. But who am I kidding… if it were not for the overflowing love and generosity of Robert and Sheri, none of us would have met, and I simply can’t imagine my life without any of you in it.

Ongoing Shout Outs:

Smallgroup guys and gals at Graystone, thanks for helping me to rebuild some margin in my life this year.

Tim Omara, David Walters, Kevin Queen, Russ Masterson, Heath Haines and all the other guys who originally started Downpour ministries in Gwinnett years ago, because that was rockin-real stuff, and another sig-nif contributor in my life.

All of the people that have helped in my endeavors. You are too many to name, but you are not forgotten. So many people were there for me when I went off the road and joined with a church start, including those who were involved with it.

Starting a company was one of the most grueling and challenging things I have ever done. There are countless people to thank that came to work along side us and for us at Life Is My Movie, and I appreciate it in ways you could not fathom. To Ron English Jr., Nathan Padgett, Ginnyann Reynolds, Marquita Weaver, Jordan Canu, Warrace Lytle and all the rest who have come, gone, and come around for seconds, thanks.

All of the original Bradenton, Fl people I have gotten to know, and for those who often have given me a place to crash especially Ian, Amanda and others who have taken me in over the years… sorry if I didn’t put your name here and it belongs here. I miss yall.

The video crews I’ve had the pleasure of serving with, Ol Jeremy McBriar and Owen Carrol…who lives in Italy now… what the heck? The guys and gals at Gwinnett 23, as well as all the road dogs I have gotten to know along the way.

I must say the all the staffers with SuperWOW were awesome people, who’s passion for Christ was indeed contagious. They were the real attraction at that camp. Never really got to know any of the personalities or bands too well, but they’re were a few that were very cool people.

The people and staff at Spalding University.

All of the bands that we played along side and Mike Whitley for teaching me guitar.

PROBLEM THOMAS: DANIEL MCGILL, JON DAWS, LEVI LOWREY… all of whom have been thanked before, but here is yet another shout out.

All the girls I dated. All the ones I didn’t, but wanted too. And all the songs that came out of those experiences. But songs aren’t people… and if we dated but don’t talk anymore, well… your not that important I guess… Well, Im sure your important to someone, just not me. No, that sounds bad… oh well… Sooo, I guess Im done now. Crap. I always put my foot in my mouth. But it tastes sooo good, I can’t help it.

And anyone that I may have left out of this post.

This week, 8900 women have gathered to see Kirk Cameron speak and Casting Crowns play. At this particular event I have heard the personalities speaking referred to as “draws.” Hmmm… George W. Bush will be speaking at with this ministry in Autumn and I just don’t get it…or do I?

I observe the group I am with, they choose to have big ticket draws and celebrity speakers as the main attraction for an event rather than a straight-forward theme or message for the weekend. If marketing is indeed their ploy, they should hang this sort of ministry up. I’m sure people will argue that they are tying to get “lost” people to come… yeah, okay. I have never met someone interested in acting who wanted to come to Tennessee to listen to what Kirk Cameron had to say, and I don’t know any “lost” liberals that would want to see George W. stutter out whatever he was trying to say. Tickets were not purchased to Glorify our King. The 8,900 tickets sold for this event were purchased to see Kirk Cameron in person and they make up their own minds about their reasons why. But, and this is my argument, not one single person who came, did not come to be entertained in someway. Of course I have no doubt that somewhere in the crowd stands a few authentic individuals who brought their church, because they knew the only way to get some alone time with them to talk about Jesus would be to attract them with waterslides, funnel cakes, and Kirk Cameron. Those are the types of ministers whom race after the heart of God, try to reach their people, and know they are attempting to use entertainment as a way to reach someone. Look, I pray harder than anyone that this stuff matters… but, I have a sinking suspicion it doesn’t always. Perhaps, I have been working for the wrong ministries.

WORSHIP: It’s an obedient lifestyle devoted to God daily.

Of course there are certain theologies which still rebuke music in the “order of worship” or “the program schedule.” But for the most part we like music as our form of united expression, and I think that’s a pretty cool tool we can use to lift our voices united in songs of praise and celebration. And in that, we are provided with a certain entertainment. It feels wonderful to be in the presence of other believers crying out words of praise if taken seriously. To some though, I would guess their opinion or review of such “worship” would read as any concert review where the music rocked the crowd into full out celebration. We use music as a small tool, inside of a bigger tool that we might not think to question much… the “program” itself. It hasn’t always been present in the church, its been around for a very long time and at times I think it can actually stand in the way of what God wishes to do.

I have shared time with Kirk Cameron before. I remember walking down the corridor of the arena just He and I. I’m sure he was caught of guard by the dozens of people that swarmed his book booth until the point that security had to escort him out of the room. I was there when it happened. People came up a staircase behind us that was covered with pipe and drape and suddenly people were flooding around us inside the booth. I looked at Kirk who had a panicked look on his face. I asked him, “You doing okay man? “ He replied, “Yeah, just thinking about tonight.” I quickly jabbed back, “Really, cuz it looks like you want to get out of here.” Suddenly our security guru for many years Mark Spraggins came to the rescue clearing a back passage for Kirk to make his getaway. Once we were safely below where the crowds were, Mark left us and returned to slay the masses of people who had somehow found a way to places they were never meant to go. Kirk said nothing to me in that moment, although we had talked earlier and would talk again… He just walked quietly down the hall. His eyes were glued to his shoelaces. I wonder if Kirk was feeling the same thing I was thinking. I don’t know what he was feeling, but what I was thinking is that I would never want to be in Kirk’s shoes. Here is a guy who passionately wishes to share Jesus, and NO one cares to really listen to what he is saying. They just clap their hands and snap their photos to capture a moment with a famous child-star. Kirk has matured since I last met him, and I could tell from his presentation this time around, that the Lord has continued to work and transform him. Of most of the speakers I have met in my day, I would say he seems more sincere than most. I see a lot of ego in this biz, but Kirk doesn’t show his… he’s just actually a famous guy who tries to use that to the best of his ability, while the crowd remains no different than any other crowd.

As for me, I must say, my discomfort in these types of events has dramatically increased. Of course I realize that some people in some ways are affected, that God can use events to change lives, but that is of little concern to me these days. My mind is haunted with theory, technical jargon, and making sure the show goes off with no mistakes. So, today, its just theater to me, but I suppose I shall not give way to the enemy, even though my strength diminishes daily. If I have made a difference doing this stuff, I have not heard of it. I have not seen anything that has come of years of service… this makes me want to give up the event circle but I have so many mixed thoughts about the theology behind theater worship events that I long for the simplistic nature of God, un-enhanced by melodrama, lights, and screens. I’m taking a break after this tour of shows or I will no longer be capable of thinking about the subject in a positive manner. The only thing that comes to mind is the complaints of the day. Which complaining never really solves anything. As they say, complaining is a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn’t take you anywhere. My mind is filled with logic and reason, my heart is lonely, my spirit is drained. I need rest. I need God. I have tried to do my best over the last ten years, and the conclusion is that I can do a lot of things… but none of which have much to do with growing personally with Christ. I realize that I have talked more about ministry preferences than about faith here… so, let me touch on the last decade in my relationship with God.

Before ministry: 2000 to 2002- my relationship with God was great and growing. I read, I prayed, I grew, I had a clear relationship and remained obedient. I attended a worship service called downpour and loved life, although I was doing very little in the world beside going to class and working at a retail store.

2002 to 2006: Video Ministry, Church plant, band. Those three things became my priority and as I relied on God to grant me creative ideas to share I began to come to God with a purpose other worship. I needed ammo. Slowly, I took the helm. I had less time to read, less time to pray, less time to rest. I gave into convictions, I let myself slip, and by the end of 2006 I was in the darkest place my spirit has ever wandered. I remained in a borderland of safety where the God of the wild and adventurous life was far from where I hid. I wanted a different life than God seemed to offer me, so I ran… like Jonah… I ran and I hid.

2007 to 2009: I left the church. I spent time with normal everyday unchurched folks, and found myself loving them as God loves them. God began to restore compassion, and patience, meet with me, and rescued me from my departure. He sought to bring me back to Him, and while He did that, He began to bring others around me closer to Him as well, I saw God work outside the church, pretty much on His own. Through experiences, I saw Him molding the hearts around me. He would harden some, and open others, He would swap them, change things up, take away, give back, and if we kept Him in mind even a little, it was clear who was with us, and who was turning things to His purposes. This is amazing. This is miraculous. That even when we don’t want things to be true, they are still… beyond logic, beyond reason, beyond even emotion, and God continues to reveal Himself, with or without the Church Industrial Complex. Its quite possible that none of this was intended. After all, God uses our disobedience as an opportunity to reveal Himself. He does not seem to be interested in our obedience so much for His sake. He can just as well use our disobedience. Obedience is for our own good. Bare obedience has hardened me in the past… “If Im doing everything You want, why haven’t I got what I want?” This pillaged the back of my mind. If you wonder what I am talking about I suppose it comes down to fairness in a way. Take two brothers, one does everything he thinks he should and is obedient and isn’t rewarded. The other is disobedient, and yet still welcomed by his parents the same way, maybe even seems preferred over the obedient one. You can bet in this case, such as it was with the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son, and with Jonah, and others… that mere obedience actually lead to hard hearts, and pure hatred. God isn’t interested with just obedience. Make no mistake, He wants our obedience, but He wants something deeper than that. Anti-climatically, this has to do with our concerns, with what our hearts fix on, what stirs us out of bed in the morning.

NOW: What I say, and what I believe isn’t always related, because we DO what we really believe. So, I may say that daily time in the Word and in prayer is a great way to grow in a relationship with God, but I lack to DO that… So, either I must not have much faith in what I say…. Or if I do believe it, and say it, but don’t do it… then what is the reason I do not move to make that a priority? Someone is set against this. An enemy, who knows the best way to keep us in the dark is simply to keep us away from the light. So, I go to war. I ignore distractions, and I make my days about my time with God rather than time with anything else. Its simple, its hard, its amazing how hard the enemy makes this. Isn’t the fact its tough to get done, simple proof of that enemy? Its amazing that isn’t our first assumption. I guess its part of the lie. Our enemy is a good liar. He’s bent on keeping us far from God. My fight, is in prayer. If the enemy keeps us from prayer, he wins. So, pray, read the Word, surround yourself and fill your mind with the things of God. Obey the Lord. This is where I am, and what I keep telling myself to do. Its what I must do now. I’ve got to get out of the borderland. Im in the same place now as many bitter men, quarrelsome, sun-scorched, angry enough to die former prophets and preachers… some too dead inside to even be angry anymore. We need wonder, we need mystery, we need stories well told, scripture sharply imagined, and language skillfully used. I need a refresher. I must rid my mind for now with doubt and logic… Logic is without emotion, and doubt… well, the flaw with doubt is that it can never be satisfied. Evidence is never enough. It eats and consumes, it clamors endlessly for an answer and so drowns out any answer that might be given it. It demands proof, but will doubt the proof. Its craving just increases the more we try to fill it. Seeing is not believing, we walk by faith, not by sight.

This is about romance and about perspective; romance is a perspective for the most part. It is either viewed as it is historically and is interpreted as an adventure or its viewed in modern terms of being “the pursuit of sex and or marriage in a contemporary setting.” Either way, being romantic involves the way in which we feel about something and that rise of passion, which boils us into action. Attractions, infatuation, imagination, excitement, love; there could be a number of inspirations that could trigger romantic action. But all of romance is essentially risk, and taking those risks, is often what propels a relationship to its next level. If things go the way you want, you win. If things go a way you don’t want, you fail. It is that simple. Like most of these types of statements I suppose it would be best to end this paragraph with a qualifying statement, which is… “at least for now, that’s the way I see it.”

So, I can’t speak for everyone in the world, I don’t know many answers to many questions. I only know that I have dated the same persona for ten years, have been in love with the same persona, and when the female which embodies that particular animus or anima, or whatever my ideal mate subconsciously is, I start taking romantic risks to keep them around. However, what is my motivation?… What do I want or expect? I think that at its core, the romantic relationship for me is an adventure, not just a social pairing. I want the story to be good, and I want it to have a happy ending, and I want my bride to feel well protected and treasured. However, the romantic risks I take in order  to capture that in my life don’t always work out. I come off strong at times and loose. However, sometimes I come off as confident and sure of what I want and usually the women that really want to be wanted… want that. On a few occasions this has worked out only for a limited amount of time until, a.) they take off their mask and I realize they were not the physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual interpretation of my ideal bride. Or, b.) she realizes I am not what they want… even though they liked me wanting them and wanting them to want me. Perhaps they only needed to know they could be desired and this inspires them to go after someone they want in return. Which is quite gratifying when I think about it. If I have ever helped a girl believe that she was beautiful and could be loved… then I don’t see what more I could really ask for. That in of itself is worth any post-relationship depression that may occur. The intellect and the emotions do a dance of reason when things don’t work out and hopefully your heart and brain will come to terms and make since of whatever occurred that leaves you full of hope rather than disappointment. It is not a complete waste of time to be depressed about these things. A broken heart is a beautiful experience and I am very pleased that I have had opportunities of great sadness in my romantic life. Without them I would have never experienced the wonder of that side of myself. Of course in recent years my dating life has become really dull… just as it was in my first years of college, when it felt as if I was doomed to date troubled girls who hated their fathers. My biggest revelation is that at my age the opposite sex has lost its innocence and vigor pursuit of something great. Often I find myself opposite some person that seems to find one small thing to latch onto. So, instead of pursuing their ideal mate, they write it off as a fairytale that was never true. They instead become attracted to security, understanding, or physical attraction, or even the simple affection they have not experienced. Nothing has occurred in the last few years that has really swept me into some great story. Perhaps this is why I have gone on first dates that are rarely seconded. Setups aren’t going to work for me… none have. I gave eharmony a try and it was pointless. I try my best to instill hope in the girls I have dated, and that usually sends them seeking either what they have always dreamed of, or back to their husband pursuit to go with the home they’ve already purchased and their coach bags. Being pursued for someone else’s comfort level isn’t what I want… its flattering, but I want to pursue and rescue. If she runs away for a while that’s cool… It at least makes me think about weather or not it’s worth the effort. I may wait in vain, but I shall wait for some amazing meet-cute or at least an interesting, out of the ordinary, story. I have had teasers in my own life, and I have seen it happen with others, so it does indeed happen. A lot of people would like me to settle… and to please others I tried to do that before, but as soon as I started to settle down my ways, and look towards a way to provide for that life, the girl I was dating back then took a hike. I can’t blame her, I would have done the same thing if I had saw her becoming something she wasn’t and more importantly someone I didn’t want her to become. I’m not saying that is why the relationship ended, I’m just saying this disinterest occurred about the same time I had set forth on a journey of normalcy, and I find that rather interesting. So, in the worst breakup in my life, I may have found a most important truth. There is no such thing as settling and remaining happy for me… some couples do remain content, but contentment is a far cry from true happiness. Settling for comfort, security, or any other reason is the same as suicide… and I won’t kill myself, or change who I am just to make a relationship work. A relationship is supposed to help each person grow into who they are born to be. It is for the sake of a life together, which is an adventure. It is not defined for me as two people working to make the relationship work. That is a difference between life at its fullest, and slavery for me. I realize that at some point compromise and sacrifice is necessary to make a marriage last. However, those compromises should be made for the greater good of both people, not one party sacrificing themselves so the other can wear prada shoes and have the kids attend private institutions. Its give and give, not give and take. For example, I don’t dance right now. Never been that interested in dancing. But, if my future wife loves to dance and is passionate about dancing, you can bet your last dollar that I will learn so I can be apart of that passion. If I love her, I would do that, because I’m that kind of person who wants to see my lovers heart fully alive. And it is the expression of our passions in which we find that “aliveness.” So, of course I would dance… and I would love it, because when you truely love someone, you love their passions, and they become addicting. You can also, decide to do the things you like separately from your lover… but was it really your dream to one day get married, and do the things your truly passionate about separately? I doubt it. Listen to me, I dated and wanted to marry someone that came to see me sing only once; someone that didn’t even like half of anything I did like. But I would have moved to France to be near her back then. Now, its just funny to look back and realize that I did all the things I really loved without her anyway. So… as I have often said… it does matter “what you are like as much as what you like.” And one more little thing… a relationship shouldn’t be that one person must work so that the other can pursue their dream, unless that provision is said persons dream. When you marry, you wed both a person and a dream. Sometimes to see the ones we love’s dreams come true, we have to know what they are, we have to understand what that means for us and what we must do to help, and sometimes to help the person we love pursue their dreams we might even have to leave the story. In other words, many marriages are selfish endeavors, while others are completely selfless. You should look at the core reasons why you are in a relationship, and whos dreams are being fulfilled more so than the others. It has been best explained to me as two horses pulling a carriage. One is leading, but it is very hard to tell which one because both are moving forward together. It takes an iron will to make this happen, but both bride and groom must be allies in every fight, even in the times when it seems like no answer is in sight. When love fails, romance dies and so when you find yourself sacrificing all you are to keep someone in your life, you have to realize the road you are headed down is doomed for failure. So, if you are not married and find this happening, talk it out and get out if necessary. If you are already married, you need to talk about the past. Rewind to the moment that one of you stopped the pursuit of happiness and consider why those things came into play. Was it just to please the others standard of living, and now you selfishly want your life back? The problems you face usually can simply be defined as one of you not getting your way. You can save your life and marriage by realizing that no one made you do anything. The truth is we may not like every part of the story we must live through get to our happy ending, but you cannot loose sight of that. You cannot loose heart. If you do, you’re screwed, broken, and weak. Your stupid mistakes were yours, because at the end of the day, you were stupid… and if you didn’t learn that already, your probably going to make the same mistake again. Now, obviously there are many other elements that come into play. Sometimes very good people end up with hurtful people and even evil abusers. In those cases, leaving is the best option. There are villains among us, of that there is no doubt. This is why I urge those other singles, to remain cautious of the pursuit of romance and to be very careful before they flush their lives down the toilet for anything other than true love. The question remains though, is one and only, one and only, or is that just an expression?  Above, I mentioned that “if love dies, romance fails.” What I say now is when you don’t take the time to “romance” your other, “love slowly dies.” So, take the time to constantly pursue your lover. Take time to embrace one another’s dreams. I suppose like all of life seems to be, you can only know the full story in the retelling, and the story isn’t over quite yet for myself. Perhaps, those of you which find yourself understanding more than I think I understand can comment and leave me your thoughts. Because, in this department in life, I am left unknowing. I am a student confused and starring at a multiple-choice question.

Why haven’t I found my help mate, my bride?

a.) I haven’t met the right person yet.

b.) I am not the right person yet.

c.) I am not supposed too.

d.) Both a. and b.

e.) All of the above.

f.) None of the above.

I always preferred essay questions.

INTRODUCTION:

In order to understand why my career and calling is the first topic I can discuss, you must understand that its one of the only things in my life I’m sure about. When working at something is your destiny, you can look back and easily see that it all makes since.

1980’s… well… 1981 onward.
THE GOLDEN AGE.

The entire time I’ve been on earth I’ve been spinning stories to figure out a purpose or a greater meaning. When I was young my mom told me that my name came from a dream. Having been read every bible story at a young age, I felt immediately like I was apart of the story God was telling. Of course it took a while to flesh that out, and in a lot of ways that probably screwed me up and elevated my pride a bit too soon in life. My sister died right after my 6th birthday and the whole ordeal really shook me into reality, but the reality I found was full of wonder and miracles and my point of view was anything but common… of course there is more to this story I will perhaps share later on. The point is, my imagination ran away with me. I often talked in the mirror and acted like I was a t.v. host and that each event in my life was some sort of show. This was ludicrous, but it happened. I began to create worlds in which I embodied action figures… now a lot of kids played with action figures, because a.) they were cool. And b.) we grew up as the marketing of toys through cartoons became an unrestricted fiasco thanks to Ronald Reagan in 1984.

Thanks man. What people find strange is that often when I imagined I put myself into the characters, or just played myself in their world. It may have been some mental illness and I was a child in need of therapy, who knows, or this could have been normal. I may never know. Of course, I think it was the general writing rule with Hanna Barbara that if a cartoon used primarily adult characters you had to put a kid in the cartoon for the kids at home to relate too, perhaps subconsciously this could also be where I picked this up. My first decade ended about the time Dad let me finally take the helm of our family VHS Camcorder.

1990’s
THE SILVER AGE

The first significant thing that happened was getting saved and baptized. My grandfather McGill, a north Georgia pastor, baptized me in my swimming pool along side my brother. It was a pretty important thing, but I sort of viewed it more like a knighting with cake and relatives than a baptism. Still my devotion to God was sincere. Then my imagination did get the best of me as I moved from a boring middle school, where I was being forced to grow up, to a new school in a new state. Louisiana was a challenge and an adventure, and while imagination and creativity were still my allies, they were no longer my escape pod. Now they were my assets. This time would be a real adventure, with real problems, and real people. In Louisiana, life was about solving problems, stopping bullies, and protecting people that were at a disadvantage. Again, I suppose I needed therapy because know one in their right mind looks for to do those things as a hobby. I got a little creative realizing that I could be anyone and no one would know the difference, but learned my lesson and got out of Louisiana with a passion for making movies in my backyard and spinning stories for the page, not to manipulate people. I wrote my first novelette there as well as shot my first coherent short. (which will remain in my personal vault…there were a few embarrassing moments in my early works.)

I was still an attention freak when I moved back to attend Dacula High School in 10th grade, but not too bad… but bad enough. I enjoyed making movies and creating the school news as well as hanging out and playing music, but the call to something bigger kept me out of trouble for the most part. I continued to make videos/movies and met some of the friends that would be important in my life today. I provide you with laughter from over 10 years ago… NOW….

[vimeo]http://www.vimeo.com/4246393[/vimeo] [vimeo]http://www.vimeo.com/4246337[/vimeo]

Knowing that my movies were horrible, I tried to add as much humor as possible in my carefully and well-placed shots… I know its brilliant. You don’t have to tell me.

In high school, my story was about working at a produce stand and selling boiled peanuts and Christmas trees while staying out of trouble. I was a little legalistic back in those days and the world was black and white, good or evil. I made a few mistakes but didn’t compromise my beliefs. I ended the decade with “The Patio” a local channel show during the summer that my brother and I created. After the summer ended I began my first semester of college and started selling camcorders and making in-store training videos for Best Buy. The 90’s were over, and a new millennium had come.

So you see, I was already well on my way to becoming what I was born to be… a storyteller.

2000-2009
THE BRONZE AGE

I remember those early college days wondering how the world would unfold. I was selling camcorders at a retail store, making video docs for history classes, and shooting narrative shorts on the side. I had just completed a script for (I know this is awlful) a christian-vietnam war- buddy film. I took it in to production out of pocket and the shoot was horrible. The first day of production one of our key actors didn’t show up and we shot around him. Day two we spent shooting action scenes and blowing stuff up, some of our props caught fire and ruined the rest of the schedule. I was devastated with life. A few months later as it turns out we started recording some songs with Levi, and started “Problem Thomas” (the band I was in.) This took my focus off of film making and concentrated more on music.

VIMEO: Problem Thomas.
[vimeo]http://www.vimeo.com/2567395[/vimeo]

With college (business major), work, and the rock band… video and film was shuttled to the backburner. I remember a buddy of mine calling me in late 2001 early 02 and asking if I wanted to go work with him on Terminator 3. I admired the idea of working on a real movie but a knock on my door changed my course from that path to another. The knock on the door turned into a work request and I ended up doing video for a youth church event down the street. Before I knew it, I was working for The Georgia Baptist Convention and quitting my retail job. The bulk of this story you know from previous blogs written about my adventures in video ministry or in portions of “America Town.” Many years were spent trying to figure out the best ways I thought video could be used in the para-church world. I was extremely blessed that God allowed me to test out new things with bigger audiences as I branched out and began to do many other events with 2 other groups. Most importantly, I was able to see the ways that God used the creativity he gifted me with in the lives of students as well as adults.

Still, I was young and stupid and joined the SOS (shiny object seeking) movement in the church. This included focusing on the latest fads, technology, and also jeans that were amazing, but really too expensive for a Christian concert director to have. I mean come on, who did we think we were? “Christian” artists? “Christian” rock stars? I found a group of people who validated my complaints when production values suffered, and if the band wasn’t good or the speaker wasn’t clear we lifted our complaints that excellence had suffered. I leaned away from local ministry opportunities and tried to focus on popular venues to showcase my work. In my time on the road, I directed most major touring Christian Bands at the time, from Third Day to Micheal W. Smith, Tree 63 to Reliant K, Casting Crowns to the Mercy Me “I Can Only Imagine,” phenomenon. Later, I found preference in directing shows for David Crowder Band or Fernando Ortega, which I suppose shows a little growth…at least musically. I loved the “big show” but what began to bother me was seeing the “humble event speaker” accepting a 4,000 dollar check to speak to kids about something clearly written about 100 times and easily repeatable by anyone, it was a bit disturbing to my young mind, and led me on the road to rebellion in my opposite life in the rock band of Problem Thomas. From 2002 to 2003 we were playing mostly churches in Georgia and Florida and sang about generic love and the issues important to young hearts. I changed my major from business to film and graduated in 2004 from Georgia State. Our band then toured that summer this time wandering into bars, clubs, and recognizable venues in Atlanta, Athens, and throughout Florida. We had recorded 4 CDs at that time and I found my complaints were leaking into my lyrics when it came to the topics I didn’t like within the church and with my job. I was looking to the answer for a question and I suppose I still ask this question… “Does God really want us to sell out arenas and tag His name allover them?” Other than that, things were great from my point of view. With film school done, I had gotten back behind the camera for 2 horror shorts, directed a slew of Christian events, and really there wasn’t an avenue of creative artisanship I wasn’t enjoying around that time… Life was good.

[vimeo]http://www.vimeo.com/2529758[/vimeo]

Then came the happy news of a church start idea, and you can read about this also previously noted in this blog. God used it as a way to burn away everything in a period of refinement, one that I very much did not want to go through. Suddenly, my two lives didn’t work so well, and managing that became a burden. As savings ran low and several life crises erupted I began to look outward for a day job. The plan was to make money to support my time working for the church which I had done mostly for free that year. In searching for something local or government based I began to see a disinterest in my background from those hiring. No one really respected “video-ministry.” Even the concerts that I thought were a big deal were only a joke. “Who is David Crowder?”, “Who are The Newsboys?”, “Oh, you worked with Kirk Cameron… we thought he died, didn’t he overdose with that other kid star?” As a matter of fact, the Christian Industry was laughed at, when it came to 1.) Art and 2.) Technical knowledge. They admired my film degree as well as some of the demo-reel material I provided, but basically I got passed on over and over, (and this was when the economy was doing pretty good.) I realized that there were some big churches with impressive production values and plenty of cash that did work with industry standards, but I had not worked for them, I had worked with state conventions, rouge production companies, and student filmmakers… they laughed at me, while I laughed at industry standards. You can’t work in the industry if you don’t know how… this was a tough lesson to learn.

I began to look at video ministry from the eyes of someone fully submerged in the television or film industry. We were viewed as pathetic “copy-cats” emulating the culture in order to put butts in the seats. Even our best work did very little to impress on an artistic or technical level. In the world of entertainment, the people with the best ideas rise to the top…(theoretically) In the church world we copied whatever was on top and used the looks and designs relevant to the culture. The hard truth was that we “creative types” didn’t get to be that “creative” after all. Instead of using our gifts to do something that affects the culture, we spend all of our time trying to do what is “popular” with the masses. I was curious and a new mission in my life had been formulated. I needed to figure this church thing out. Why did I even have a job for all those years, was it to simply entertain church people? I thought I was contributing to something being done for God, but maybe I wasn’t. I felt the urge and God granted need to reach out to our community. I needed to use my gifts to do something I knew would have an impact outside our worship center. A documentary idea fell on me and I approached the team at the church about it. The idea was brushed over and dusted off by my fellow staffers. I think that was the last nail in my coffin. I didn’t have anything left. Money was gone, no job, car gone, girl gone, everything was gone.

I branched out on another journey when I went to see a friend of mine, Dustin McNeely, who introduced me to someone working on a movie that needed some marketing ideas. I went to Neil Shulman the producer of the film. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0795743/

Dr. Shulman and I talked about some possible solutions for a feature he was showing in limited release. We decided it would be best to hit the streets with a camera and show interviews of people after each showing, we had a theory that people would come to the theater if they knew they could see themselves on screen. Our plan worked! We sold out the mid-town art cinema a few times and all was grand.

I got on the news a couple of times and hosted a promo for the movie on a local Atlanta Channel… that, I admit, was horrible. The important thing was that I felt like I was conducting an experiment that was working. I felt as though the principles I had learned in the church world could be brought out just as we were taking things in. I had simply learned by selling thousands of highlight dvd’s that if you put a kid in a video, he will buy it. The same was true for movie tickets.

During this time the church asked me to no longer be a volunteer, and told me to pursue something I was passionate about. I didn’t take it well, but double life in hand, I deserved it in hindsight. No matter their reasons. I fell into depression, and recorded my last record ironically titled, “A NEW DAY” with Problem Thomas. You can hear one of our songs, “Life Sucks” at www.myspace.com/106west or listen here for a song tilted towards the church culture I felt at odds with.

I\’ll Shed A Tear- Problem Thomas- A New Day- 2006

After scratching my head a little, I decided the best thing to do would be to figure out a way to take my idea from the last days of church and turn it into a film idea. The main problem here is that I had no money. I needed to call some people to figure out the best ways to gain limited partners once I put this idea together. I prayed about it a good bit, spent a lot of time with friends, and worked a normal job until I just had to do something or my insides were going to burst out of me. A name kept popping in my head and I felt like the Lord was leading me to call a friend I had not seen since High School. Unlike the majority of filmmakers surrounding my area he had focused more on producing rather than directing and could truly help me figure some things out.

I thought that by joining forces with Vincent Vittorio, I could learn a few things, help him out with his current project and then hopefully he would be willing to help me with mine. I had no idea he’d ask me to join his company and bring me to work within a few weeks as an assistant director on a film with over 1 million dollars in its budget. That was a big deal then, doesn’t seem so large now that I have a better understanding of how things really work with independent films. Anyway, it was a great opportunity to hire the best filmmakers in Georgia and bring them into Georgia’s best studios to make a film. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1016001/

Light In The Darkroom

After the film wrapped, we started 2 new companies and opened offices in downtown Lawrenceville. We flirted with my film idea, but the company, Life Is My Movie Entertainment, had 2 previous projects that would be much faster to get out the door (or so we thought.) We began a press push, started to generate some interest in the company, and began doing corporate work with one company while contracting out consumer videos through the 2nd company. It all looked great on paper and in the first year it was working fine. Our biggest problem was the time it was taking to make the money we needed to complete the other 2 projects. We began some post procedures to get them done, as well as shot some new material. We also broke away on a completely new venture seeking to gain rights to a biography style documentary. With things off to a good, but very busy, start my idea began to fade. I had worked through various step outlines and held a few meetings, but with so much going on it seemed like the best thing to do was hold on tight, make the best choices I could, and try not to loose my shirt again, after all, I had just gotten it back. The summer of 2007 I was able to fulfill a long time dream, I was able to help out two friends I had grown up with making movies in our back yards… and really throughout the years. They had put together a feature length script I could get excited about because it was going to be the first major project that dealt with issues of my faith as well as being just an overall good narrative. Vincent and I decided we could help and we set up the company for the film, wrote an investors packet, the Daws pointed fingers in the direction of money, got talent and locations, and together we were making another movie. As producers, Vincent and I were hands on only when we needed to be. Directors need someone to blame on set as to why the shooting conditions might suck on some days. This also helps the directors from being approached with pay issues that a member of the crew may have as the shoot continues. If we just showed up every-once in a while negotiated rates and helped solve any problems, we could do our job and stay out of their way, and be very easy to blame if anything went wrong. I must admit I did get my feelings hurt a little on set when everyone thought I was an “unwelcomed prick,” but then I realized that you just have to wear different hats. Not everyone is going to like you; if everyone did you wouldn’t be doing your job right. For a long time, I think that is what I became about. The truth is that if people are always trying to please one another then nothing gets done, and if its done, its probably not great. This kind of work requires the focus of a “greater good” being achieved by all people working together. That’s really what a film set is all about. It doesn’t matter what you know. It matters if you are doing the one thing the film needs you to do. I’m sure the gaffer knows a little about the camera and the d.p. knows a little about the sound, but you can’t be someone on set with an ego for knowing everything. The best rule is always “shutup and listen.”

Directors & Producers

Our crew was legendary. We had a fantastic team of people working on the film, and the summer was one that I won’t soon forget. Even though I wasn’t always on set and had other business responsibilities back at the office it was great to see a film with themes of faith being done in such a way. Backbreaking work, hot sun, chicken manure and all, it was fun times. “Dangerous Calling” was very important in my life because we were able to make a film that exceeds the expectations and pushes the boundaries of the “Christian film” but at the same time can satisfy audiences that love a good “thriller.” I think that should be a constant goal of filmmakers of faith. Just tell good stories and let the preachers do the preaching. www.dangerouscalling.com
[vimeo]http://www.vimeo.com/2272002[/vimeo]

By the time we wrapped “Dangerous Calling” our plate was full of corporate projects. We brought on 14 people to help work a new plan and we grew faster than we could produce.
We realized that if we were going to survive we needed to bring on investors with our company. From November to December we began a rush to produce promos and write investment packets. By mid January things weren’t looking that great. The economy had started to turn downwards and clients wanted more work for less money… to be quite honest, that wasn’t going to happen. Unfortunately, we had to get rid of most of our office staff while continuing to work with a handful of them in freelance relationships. It was tough times in the neighborhood for a little bit.

That January a guy that had mentored me in the ways of event video when I first came on with Georgia Baptist years ago called me up. He had transitioned to producing television content for PBS and other networks. One of these networks was NRB. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NRB_Network

His asking me to be the host for a new show pleasantly surprised me. It was yet another opportunity to do something in the field of video ministry, but on a larger scale than local churches or para-church events. We shot 4 episodes, and helped several ministries out by serving their needs on this HGTV style fix-it show. I loved the work. Being able to write on set and spit it out was a process and I think I was just starting to get the hang of it when we wrapped on the last day. The show aired and was a fun watch for the few weeks it was on Direct TV. Guess I’ll have to think twice about knocking Christian TV.

After the T.V. show, it was now up to our remaining team to make something happen or we were quickly going to run out of money with nothing other than entertainment projects on our hands. We drafted three feature projects and began pitching the ideas to investors. We favored the biography documentary I briefly mentioned before and traveled to Poland to draw interest as well as shoot a few preliminary interviews.

I won’t go into great detail about the happenings there because those stories will be revealed in a book that Life Is My Movie will be releasing this year along with the film that did go into production, “An Inconvenient Tax.” www.aninconvenienttax.com
[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/2050141[/vimeo]

The story behind securing the funds, traveling the country, and returning to Lawrenceville where the editing process began will all be covered in the book. That gives me no real reason to dive into that here. With the film now in the final stages, it leaves me wandering what is next?

I have been able to meet a great many people these last few years, and do some pretty incredible things. Still, I feel it was all for some greater purpose not yet known. The last ten years of my career path feels like a trial in which I made more mistakes than I experienced successes. Any harm that came to me can be undone, but the knowledge gained has been priceless.

My purpose to complete the film I originally intended to make has not vanished and I hope to still be allowed an opportunity to make that film when the time is right. I often have wondered if I should have stepped out on faith right at the beginning but I am reminded that I am no longer the same person I was 3 years ago. I was hurt and blaming everyone but myself back then. I believe that God knew the exact choices I would make before I made them, and I believe He has a plan greater than anything I could dream up for the future. For a long time I thought my decisions shaped my story, and I still think that is mostly true, except for one major detail…. It’s not “my” story.

I have great hopes for the coming decade and cannot wait to see what will happen next. While the current day is not easy or comfortable, I am looking forward to days that can be used to set things right. If anything, this has been another period of refinement in which many impurities will be scraped away. Last time I felt like the future was unknown to me, I walked into a grand adventure in which I was able to be apart of these things. All those years of event videos and directing concerts I had asked myself, “if I had what it takes to make a feature film.” We’ve completed 3 now, and I feel as if the pride in proving myself to myself has diminished. I know there is much I am capable of on my own, and much that I am not capable of doing on my own. I now walk into the future wondering this time what could be done with God, instead of for Him or for me in the name of God. My savior kept me from harm and allowed me to make the mistakes He knew I would make. But, I am tired of doing things my way and don’t want to take another step unless He directs it. I want to do what He wants, and while I am not sure what sort of tale this may be, I am excited to find out. I realize that the choices of my future may need to be reevaluated as time goes on, but hopefully I can learn to focus on the things I am sure about and start to fade out the decisions I am not so sure about. I wish to learn how to live a life that pleases God and not one in which I am always paying the consequences of doing things my own way and in my own time.

In my career, I pray for obedience, and ask you to pray with me.

Upcoming Blog Posts.

DECADE

Issue #2: Relationships

Issue#3: Faith

Issue# 4: People

Issue #5: Places

Issue#6: Things

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pupHeSHOEE&eurl=http://video.google.com/videosearch?client=safari&rls=en-us&q=Grosse%20Point%20Blank&oe=UTF-8&um=1&i[/youtube]

Wow… its finally settled in. Its been a decade since High School. Ten years ago I was rounding the curve from winter to my last Spring of public education. I can remember alot from my life, but must admit, the memories of High School are few. I remember, which girls I liked. I remember, a few moments with friends. I remember a few teachers. I remember much more of middle and elementary school than High School… but of course the more I concentrate on it, the more things come to mind. The time I got kicked off the golf team for throwing my putter in the woods after a bad score. I remember the football game when a good friend hit a deputy sherriff in the head with a bottle cap and I got dragged on the field by their stupid error. I guess what it comes down too, is what I really remember is the other stuff I was doing besides learning anything. I remember the 1st band I played in. I remember camping trips. I remember things that were not routine. Routines are easy to forget. Saw a great video last night from THE VINE that made me think about that. The more familiar the thing, the less amazing, and I guess High School just wasn’t that amazing. 

So I guess when I think about it though, 10 year High School reunions are to think back on the days before we graduated… but what I can’t help but ask is… Wasn’t that the point of graduation? To look back on the 4 years we were there. Because the last ten years were what happened afterwards… its crazy to think its a new decade at the end of this year. Thats right 2010 is a 1980,1990,2000… thats at the end of this year. What have we done with the time? I think this calls for a nosalgic case study of my last ten years. What the hell happened?

Often it is how many videos can we use, or how far out can they be so everyone thinks we are creative when the question is how clear do they tell the story of Jesus.

When have I over programmed? When have I, for the sake of being cool, just slammed an event with videos? Maybe, I should start this topic on the defense. Maybe I should just make a list of what I haven’t done then maybe by the time I get too the many times I have over done things it won’t seem too bad.

1. I’ve never attempted to gross anyone out with a video. However, on several occasions I was asked to re-edit clips for highlight videos due to content. The material would often include kids eating worms, drama teams pretending to have bad gas, worship leaders slapping band members on the butt, students licking random objects or other students… I was simply documenting what often occurred, but in hindsight I understand why I was asked to edit this questionable behavior out of the “for sale” dvds.

2. I never created religious short films that featured angels smoking “Camel Lights” to make videos more “real” and “gutsy.” Although I have seen my share of these.

3. I never tried to recreate the story of Hosea or any other biblical person in a present day film, which I am very thankful of.

I may have gone overboard the summer of 02 in Destin Florida. I decided that the event I was creating video for should be presented in the style of the MTV movie awards. A friend of mine, Jeremiah Daws, was working with me to shot and edit fun movie parodies with the kids. I believe we had done “Cast Away” as well as a “lightsaber” fight with 30 kids and the band, “According To John.” We also edited a killer end of the week video, music videos, bumpers and special segment videos for the week long event. I sold more videos than ever, and I was booked solid with this camp for the next few years, but at the same time the videos were not tied that closely to the camps theme and I doubt any eternal value really existed besides a few kids thinking we were a cool camp. (As far as videos go) I felt compelled from that moment on to create entertaining content that aligned with the theme, or the Biblical principle being taught.

There are many things we do as a church for the sake of trying to connect. Often our stupidity about the unchurched is exposed in these attempts and often we end up with a reputation for creating bad art. At the same time we create very entertaining church settings. I don’t think there is anything wrong with using humor or bad videos and novice drama to illustrate something, as long as you know you are not an expert and try better next time. My only question is why? Why use whatever element you are using? Do you have an intention behind the illustration? Another question I would love to know the answer too is, “Do you realize how crappy your drama team really is?” Or perhaps, “Do you know how out of sync with the rules of visual story telling your videos are?” (You wouldn’t let a preacher continue to be unclear in his delivery.) I don’t mean to sound like a critic. I just think that when we take things seriously and create with intent, we are bound to make the message of Christ clearer and be taken more seriously by groups of people that typically do not fit into the average population of church attendees.

Change-up…

During my six years in video ministry, and touring with different groups, I developed an unintended reputation for never using Christian songs in videos. This ended up working against me as a businessperson, but I believe it worked to my advantage as a minister. I suppose I formerly held strong feelings about using cliché’s and stereotypes to connect with audiences…excuse me, “congregations.” I wished to avoid these things while connecting with students. If I thought something was cheesy in anyway, I didn’t use it. On several occasions I was asked to create ridiculous material, I refused, and I was either asked to leave or I simply wasn’t invited to come back the next year. What I learned from this experience was that ministries were often surprised by this conviction. I felt as if the impression of my position was not viewed as a form of ministry, but instead some sort of additive they needed to compete with the culture.

When I first began working with ministries almost every camp began an event with some form of drama. I really felt as if this was not connecting at all. Not wanting to encourage local churches to emulate this travesty of theater, I actively sought to change the way ministries opened events. My formula for “opener videos” was a rather easy one for anyone to duplicate. I wasn’t the first, and I won’t be the last, but if I may add that I was most definitely replicated by many church video departments. Unfortunately, the meaning behind the videos were often used to create buzz for a service, and not used as a device to actually say something directly to the hearts of non-believers.

HERE IS THAT FORMULA:

First, remember that without the idea and the passion for this formula all you will have is a song and a montage that students think is cool. We are not trying to make music videos for the Gospel. We should be intending to build a bridge with our culture for Christ’s sake.

1. Choose a song. The band must be someone with musical credibility. Bands like U2, Coldplay, or The Foo Fighters for example. I loved to use bands no one had ever heard of for other things, but for a mass audience you need something popular.
2. The lyrics must be positive and up lifting, if they match the theme of the event that’s even better.
3. Find the Scriptures that agree with this song’s lyrics. Once you have that, you a have started to build a bridge. The bridge is connecting a non-believer to scripture through a song he/she already knows. If they agree with the song, and God has some agreements we can back up with scripture, then maybe we’ve given them some common ground with God for the first time.
4. Next, you have to retell the story from a “truth perspective.” Use films, or videos, cuts of nature, stock footage, whatever it takes to retell the story with a cause for Christ. Retell the story by listening to the lyrics, reading the verses, and create a montage that fully examines what you wish you talk about. Another possibility would be to shoot something that goes along with the song, but more times than not production values suffers dependent on your budget.
5. It is now time to put it all together. Add verses in their proper places, type in the lyrics, and add any other graphics you would like, including event logos. Then bake at 350 for about 30 minutes. Opener Video Surprise!!!
6. The twist we often brought to the table at events is that more times than not a live band played the songs to a click track so that the video and lyrics all synced up perfectly. Add a 27 foot video screen and you have yourself a powerful piece of art and a great way to start an event.

CLICK HERE FOR AN EXAMPLE.

Vertigo. from Nathaniel McGill on Vimeo.

There were plenty of times where kids thought certain videos were “cool,” but the higher ups frowned on a video that crossed the line. I maybe used some clips from a movie they didn’t like or something like that. Maybe the CD I pulled a song from had a parental advisory sticker. Also, it never failed that whoever brought this argument had always been able to tell me what the movie was and why it was rated R… gee, maybe they’ve seen it too. I tried to use the good in films, that included films with adult themes in them. I felt this was a better than trying to make a point using something “Christians” made. The majority of my work came before “Passion of The Christ” had our generation of Christains rushing out to see that R rated film. Afterwards, it seemed every church choose to use some kind of clip from “The Gospel of John,” “The Jesus Film,” or “Passion of The Christ. These videos are not functioning the same way. It might be useful in telling a particular part of scripture, but will it connect with the people that don’t know Christ?

I never went so far as to use foul language, too much violence, or overly romantic stuff. You know what not to do I hope. Try to use good judgment more often than just cool movies. If God can agree with a particular scene, use it. Remember the reason you are using Hollywood cinema is not because all Christian films are really bad. It is because you are building a bridge using a film or a song the world is already familiar with. You aren’t in the business of being cool for cool sake. Your job isn’t to convince the world that you have watched “Desperate House Wives” before. I’m sorry I had to mention that, but today I drove past a church with a sign out front that advertised their new series, “DESPERATE HOUSE HOLDS.” It was in the correct font and color as the popular television show’s logo. What is the purpose of something so ridiculous? I suppose they are trying to build a bridge too. Somehow I think the “God agrees with” part has been fumbled. God knows there are desperate households out there; I think most people realize this as well. God and people also know that has nothing to do with that show. What this church has done is make everyone in town laugh! Maybe that isn’t such a bad thing either. It’s quite possible that someone with my since of humor may enter just to see how bad this illustration can be. I think that we are lucky that God sometimes uses our dumbest ideas for His glory. I don’t know if this church had any reason for this beyond being relevant and hip, but I hope so, I pray so.

It is wonderful how God has designed our minds to interpret art. A lesson I learned many times over is that often students walked a way with vastly different interpretations of my videos. Sometimes God used videos to personally connect with students. My personal interpretations of both songs and films make me think of Jesus. It’s because I’m totally in love with Him. When an emo boy hears a Dashboard Confessional song from the album Swiss Army Romance he thinks about the girl that just crushed him because he wears girl pants and a scarf. So why wouldn’t we think about Christ when we hear any song, not just Third Day songs. Dashboard didn’t know the girl that crushed emo boy. The members of Oasis or Coldplay do not necessarily “know” Jesus. Art is a funny game between what is absolute and what is relative. Do we pay attention to what the artist wrote the song about, or do we connect to it because we were going through something similar? In my heart I suppose that I just don’t think a person has to know Jesus to write a song about Him. What is worse? A person eager to make a buck writing Christian rock songs or an artist singing what is on his heart and it ends up painting a pretty good picture of something God believes? To be fair, I should add that the majority of music IS made FOR money. Vague topics often dealing with emotional content seems to sell the best. The reason for this in both christian markets and secular markets is simply to connect to a larger audience and therefore make more sales. If we want to push the limits of culture, the best thing to do is use their own bullets. We should be attentive and know what we can accept, and what to reject. I would recommend not going overboard in either direction.

Going overboard is sort of what I wanted to talk about in this little section. I guess we have to ask ourselves only one question. How clearly do our videos tell the story of Jesus? While telling the story of Jesus may be done many different ways, our question should not be only how well we made or created our video, but how solidly we connected with our people. Does the viewer understand what was being said? Did we cram a message in their face, forcing them to accept something? Did we creatively empower them? Did everyone watching have a similar experience? Did we trigger different associations in each person? Was our intention to impress the viewer or spiritually empower them? Do we use melodrama to emotional engage or do we try to write an open text that each viewer can extract something for their lives? That sure is a lot of questions to think about. One of the reasons I stuck to my formula of “montage” is because I feel that artistically they are more open and allow kids to think. While there is enough scripture usually involved to guide those paths, I like people to tell me what they think about a video. I am amazed when something I wanted to say gets said. I am equally amazed when God uses that same video to say something else that is equally true I had never seen before. At the same time I am upset when I make something not effective at all. The non-effective responses are usually, “that was cool,” or “it didn’t make any sense.”

The most important thing that we can do is be honest with ourselves. We are either doing something to be cool or to communicate Christ’s message. I view this medium of communication as a tool, no different than a book, a speech, a song, or an advertisement. Looking at the tools we have, we should think clearly about our decisions in doing something. I can say that I do not believe that video should be used in the local church in the same way as it is used in the independent/para-church world. The majority of my time was spent in the event world. When I attempted to bring different ideas to the table in the local church they were not fully accepted and so I do not believe that it is the time to open up that discussion. From my personal experience, the goals of independent worship ministries and para-church organizations do not serve the same purposes as the local church and therefore should not use the same means of teaching/storytelling. I can only speak for a local church start as an example of certain problems and so, that does not really add anything to the global conversation. It is my opinion that the problems are spread universally. It may be a good idea to open up conversations about presentations of independent Christian events and why we want to turn our local churches into mini-events when we should be engaging our congregations more directly.

I just returned from what I consider the worst youth event I have ever been a part of. Horrible program schedule, random interruptions by the leaders, incoherent worship, and scripted messages with almost zero conversations between “personalities” and the attendees. What upsets me more than anything is a group that believes that they can basically hire the “big dogs” and have zero vision for what the week intends to accomplish. I have every reason to believe that this event was put on just to sell tickets, books, and cds, and that attitude really made me want to get a leather whip and start turning over tables… it made me sick. It tore my heart out and by the time kids began excepting Christ after the final speaker gave the cattle call apart of me thought these were emotional decisions although my prayer was the opposite of this. The other half of me realized that God can use whatever he wants to get to his kids. So if we had a candle and a bible the event would have been just as successful, and maybe this would weed out any emotional decisions that were made. No matter if the directors of this event wanted to sell tickets and cds more so than change lives, God’s mission does not change. However, if our intention is to change lives, our events (no matter how theatrical they may be) should be the best offering and representation we can create to empower and influence the body of believers, church people, or students.

Lets get into this. For this I go back to my notes gathered over the years….

Christian Camp is a utopia of what is Christian. Unfortunately, this is unlike anything resembling what the average Joe sees everyday. At camp you sometimes hear the directors say they have dressed the church like the culture. In an attempt to be relevant and cool they hire the best speakers, good bands, and maybe even some drama. Throw in some big video screens and the program is complete. Over the years I have worked with ministries who take pride in their ability to fine tune a program by the second. On the other hand, I’ve also worked with ministries who believe as long as they have hired a production team and the right personalities everything will just happen on its own.

I was confused from the beginning. I didn’t buy the relevant thing. I didn’t really think that the culture looked anything like this. Think about it really, it doesn’t. What it does look like is our entertainment culture. It looks like big budget concerts blended with “MTV” style videos and “Comedy Central” drama. If our culture is nothing but capitalists marketing the idea of “cool” then I guess we did look like the culture, because we were making Christian Camp look really cool. On the other hand, the Georgia Baptist’s had a true passion for bringing kids to a relationship with Jesus. Their passion was addictive, and it didn’t matter if they looked the coolest, it just mattered that kids were getting to know Jesus. “Super Wow” camps were a great place for me to start, and I recommend the camp to anyone interested in a youth camp. I must say it also was very cool. The staff at “Super Wow” is unbelievable. Not just anyone got to teach there. The staffers have to go through a detailed interview process, which of course includes a background check. After the interview they go through training and then head off to camp. The staff is part production team as well and likewise I was treated as part of the staff. One of my duties was to train the staff on cameras and teach them how to follow direction. Some of them became really great camera people. These same staffers would later run camera when I directed Third Day, Micheal W. Smith, Mercy Me, Newsboys, Casting Crowns, Tree 63, and other concerts. It did not matter if 3,000 or 30,000 people were in attendance, fast switching and the dirty direction style made each concert unique and fun, more so than working with professionals, which I have also had to do in my career.

Typically, a ministry separates its production team and its teaching team. I’ve met the riggers who set up some of the events I’ve directed and trust me; you wouldn’t want these guys teaching your kids. A large part of video ministry is spent talking with these guys. If you have a passion for Christ, and a passion for the work you do, then you will talk with these people. Don’t shy away because they are on a work release program. (I’m not kidding about that, prisoners getting in some labor hours often crew these events. I’ve seen it more than a few times.) The thing that we all have in common is that we are all people, and all people have a story. Let them tell theirs to you. Learn from them and simply share Jesus. If you don’t raise your voice about God you’re wasting your time in video ministry. Jesus changes lives, not our videos. Our videos are merely wallpaper that tells a story. They are the modern day stained glass windows remember? The reputation we must have is of Minister Storytellers. While the Christian sub-culture will often view us as “the artsy people,” we have to do our part to help move people to Christ’s arms. The easiest way to do that is not by making videos for the seated to enjoy. It is to spend time with the people around us, and show them that our creativity comes from its author.

Over the last few years video crews in churches have begun to be a normal thing. Just a few years ago Christians were not always among the ministry doing the work at events. Like I mentioned before, when I arrived a lot of the crews I worked with were made up of non-believers. In a way, this was a good thing. People in this field heard the gospel, and better yet they got paid to hear it. Now days, we can find the ideal video guy or gal in churches. This is someone who loves the Lord, is constantly pursuing Him but also is a professionally trained video or sound engineer. Who knows, maybe he or she was converted while working an event somewhere.

Just because you have cameras, it does not mean you have a video ministry. There is a significant difference between video ministry and video work. If your main concern as a church is to have video screens large enough for everyone to see your pastors nostril hair, then you are reading the wrong blog. But while we are on the subject let me just say this, if you are a church with the capability of hiring a professional, hire one. If you can pay them, pay them well. This kind of work is not easy, and worthy of a good salary. If not, you will probably be working a high school or college student to death. You will burn them out and they will end up eventually hating your church. I do believe that if you do not have the means to hire a video director, you should not have a video director. As for churches who volunteer themselves to edit the video content… there are far too many mediocre Christian videos on the market for you to be creating more, stop please… do the best you can with what you have, but dont get crazy okay? As a church, send a student to college for film or video, and then offer him a job when he returns. That’s my recommendation. Remember that your value is in your people. Don’t misuse someone’s willingness to sacrifice countless hours in creation of a video that will most likely glorify your church gathering more than Christ.

A NOTE TO CHURCH LEADERS…

Pastors remember that no one looks at you like your technical team. They pump your voice through the speakers, they hear your complaints about the lights, and they know if you have rehearsed transitions in the program. Nothing is magical and everything is work. Have compassion for your team. Remember that they are all worship leaders. I do not have much experience in the local church however; I would not give such advice if I had not witnessed reasons to do so in the Christian event world. Camp speakers have fussed me out when the verses he wanted were not on screen during his rehearsed monologue. I’ve heard worship leaders complain about the fact they couldn’t hear themselves. Everyone knows that if the crowd doesn’t lift their hands up it is because the words on the screen are too small. Worst of any of these was witnessing a verbal thrashing by a worship leader that left a sound-man in tears. For some reason when things don’t go right it is never the stage personalities fault. By the way, in the Christian world we don’t have celebrities; we have personalities, because Jesus is our Elvis. If a worship leader was too concerned about his/ her music or how hot the microphone was, somehow it is the soundman who takes the blame. What is running through his or her mind I wonder, “No one was into the worship! It must be the soundman’s fault. It wasn’t loud enough. I bet if it was louder they could have worshiped God then!!!” Honestly, how can you measure worship in a room? Is there some secret worship meter that all worship leaders carry? I never see them take it out in mid-set and check how much worship is happening. Maybe it is disguised as the white “Boss” tuning petal all worship leaders seem to have. It must be somewhere because, more times than not, I hear, “Yeah, it really felt good tonight.” Or I hear the opposite, “I don’t know, it was hard to tell, I don’t think I connected?” In real life, we call this measurement an “opinion.” This “opinion” tells us more about the worship leader than the worship. If his/her mind was on the monitors, or the fact that the drummer has slowed the song down, then of course they can’t focus on worship. Their opinion is that the whole room must feel the same way and also that the words on the screen were too small.

You can relax if a worship service is interrupted by technical difficulties it is not the end of the world. It is very unlikely that anyone is going to get up and leave the church. Things will go wrong and you will not know why. A good video person plans for these things and makes a backup plan ahead of time. Often you will suddenly find yourself with a frozen screen, or maybe a projector bulb is blown. Like I said, it is not the end of the world. The reason these things seem to plague us as technical people is unknown. Often it is because equipment is old or has not been serviced in months. Projectors must be cared for and that goes for cameras and tripods as well. Equipment is an investment and it will only pay you back if you give it the attention it needs. The argued reason leaders have used with me in the past as why they have gotten upset about problems is it is a distraction from worship. They tend to forget sometimes the difference between theater and worship. Sometimes we play the role of the punching bag, but it is okay to take the blame as long as you realize something others may often overlook. People are distracted from worship all day long. Say you’re driving down the road and you have your new downloaded Crowder album playing on your i-pod. Suddenly you hit a load of traffic that is going to make you late for work. What do you do? Does this distraction cause you to get angry and ruin your morning commute, or do you roll down your windows and crank up the volume and continue rejoicing? To even draw a closer line is to simply ask yourself the question, “How often do I think about God during my day?” George Barna’s statistics point to the fact that eight out of every ten believers do not feel they have entered into the presence of God during a worship service. This is just sad. My thought concerning this is deeper than a “technical difficulty.”

The real problem is that when the screens or lights go out it breaks continuity and destroys “suture.” In film terms, “suture” is the “fall asleep” effect put on an audience while they are watching a movie. They are sucked into the story and they forget that they are sitting in a theater watching a movie. When shots break continuity the audience wakes up for a second and realizes, “Hey, I’m watching a movie.” For a moment the audience feels tricked because what they were experiencing emotionally was not real. Film has the power to make us feel emotions. We become attached to fictitious characters and their pursuit of whatever it is they seek. We realize we are attached when something disturbs us or the film stops or we find no closure in a story. If a movie ends differently than a general audience expects or wants it too, then they get upset. When a screen goes out during an event the audience may react the same way. If our worship services are viewed as a production, when a screen goes out people may be reminded that what they are watching is… well, a production. If all we have done is built emotions via subwoofers we obviously can expect that reaction for a few moments. However, God is real. He is real inside and outside our services. If someone is experiencing Christ, I doubt it very much that a screen or a blast of feedback is going to cause them to think we have only put on a Jesus show. What we do in worship is not the same as creating movies or stage plays. Worship is not a Broadway musical or a U2 concert. It is worship. However, often we do such a good job of building a program by theatrical means that even we can forget that at times. We must be careful not to think that the size of our video screens and the volume of our sound system honor God. Our opinions of what is cool, often may contradict a biblical principle. Another alarming statistic from the Barna Group concludes that “only one out of every four churched believers says that when they worship God, they expect Him to be the primary beneficiary of their worship.” Most of us have encountered the “preferences war in church music.” This being a prime example that people like to be the target of their entertainment, and so thus their worship music. However… the way we do church today is the way we do church today. For the most part I believe that it helps more than it hurts. It can just get confusing when all day long people are surrounded by entertainment and advertising to the point of an addiction… then they come to church where we use these same crafts for a different purpose. We have marketing, we have music, we have videos… but what is our purpose… A.) To be a gathering place for believers to engage in corporate worship. B.) to be a cultural mouse trap for non-believers. My point is don’t feel bad it something gets screwed up. It wasn’t the worship that was ruined, it was the production. You will not suffer any eternal consequences of your mistakes. This however, does not give you the right to constantly suck at your role in the church. Get back up and make it better.

It is quite possible that at your church the hymnal is still king and presentation software is just beginning to take its place. So instead of jumping ahead of myself, I want to address my top five “distractions” that can happen with worship presentation and some of the things with church production that sort of make my skin crawl.

Number five on my desert island top five list is:
HORRIBLE FONT CHOICES.

Being cool is over rated when it comes to presenting lyrics. You may think that is awesome to use an old gothic font to present the newest Passion Hymn, but you would be wrong. The main goal has to be that the font is readable. Simplicity is the key. The words have to be big enough for the entire room to read. Personally, I like Sans Serif. Slap it in bold and put a drop shadow on it and you’ll cooking with gas. If you are wondering about color choice, go white. Anything else can be kind of cheesy, and I’m a fan of the anti-cheese campaign. Find a font your church likes and stick with it for all of your slides. Remember that adding too many words can blur up your slide, so don’t try to go over three or four lines of text for worship. If you are presenting verses on the screen you may be able to add a few more lines, but remember everyone needs to read it.

Number 4:
THE EXCELLENT FACTOR

Not everyone should use video. If things can’t be done without lowering a projection screen and having deacon Bob pull the drapes, the flow of the service is going to suffer. In the age of IMAX theaters and BlueRay your people know what excellence looks like, and they know if you stink at it. Video should be used to enhance and engage your people. It doesn’t matter if you have created edited videos or slides for worship, the transitions must be flawless. While distractions are going to happen from time to time, it is our job to make sure that the baby in the back row is still the king of distraction. If we for some reason “one up” the baby we have failed horribly. When feedback or video snow takes over the room, the baby has been forgotten and now you are the cause of annoyance. The best way to avoid all problems is practice. Create a living program that includes times and transitions and follow it to the letter. If the times change a bit, adjust and keep on track. We should want to do our best to be excellent, but it should not be the “be all, end all.” I like to follow this little idea I stole from a book from the Imagineers at Disney, “If everything works its fun, if things go wrong, it’s funny.” Don’t let the mistakes make you feel bad about yourself. Pay attention to what went wrong and take the proper steps to make sure it does not happen again. A professional school of thought is that multimedia should be invisible. The idea is that no one should notice they are watching your work. The truth is that that should be the focus of all of church. No one should notice how well the preacher’s sermon was written, and no one should notice how well the band played. Everyone should just see God in those things. Often this is not the case, having an awful transition is just as bad as the worship leader singing off key, or the pastor forgetting where the scripture was. No mistake is bigger than the other. Hopefully, your people will notice how your work glorifies God during the service. Just don’t expect to get as much attention as a cute bass player.

Number 3:
BACKGROUNDS THAT DON’T WORK.

In this area I disagree completely with what a polished professional would tell you. The argument they would take is most likely that a background should be steady and invisible. I have often read in video magazines that audiences agree that using a collection of differing backgrounds is much more distracting than using a pre-selected slide for all things Sunday. You have to understand that these folks are just thinking about your entire service as a whole. Having a slide that stays constant for the entire worship segment is easy for us too. If you want to go this route, by all means go there. Have a slide that represents your series, or that week’s message. I think this is a great thing for sermon notes! Everything will flow pretty smoothly and you won’t have many distractions. But I say, get creative. You paid hundreds of dollars for your software, why not put it to use. Worship backgrounds are everywhere these days. At one time I would travel out to graveyards to film crosses, I traveled in the mountains to capture waterfalls, and now you can buy backgrounds everywhere. Just hop on line and visit any of the many websites like Sermon Spice or Worship Films, even Organic Videos. Worship backgrounds are like baseball cards, and just as addictive to collectors. What gets on my nerves is when people just throw them together behind a song it makes no since to use them for. You’ll often hear me compare video to the stained glass windows of yesteryear. When it comes to backgrounds we have no better opportunity to exercise this little theory of mine. Songs are sometimes, but not always, chosen to add to the content of the message. I believe that when we are choosing our backgrounds we should forget that we are even in a service at all. Use the clips that best illustrate the idea in the song. First, you want to think about speed. At events we organized all of our video loops according to speed. If we are going to play a fast song, we pull out the catalog for that particular speed. You can either guess or get really technical and figure out the “bmp” or beats per minute in the song and edit accordingly. The images you use should help to tell the story the song is enforcing. I tend to lean away these days from including waterfalls and mountains each time the song mentions them, but it is not a bad place to start. The most important thing is that you are listening to the lyrics and including images that only make those words stronger. For those who believe that this is still too much of a distraction, don’t do it. But keep in mind, it is a changing culture and you will not find any words over plain mattes of color on television. I think your people can handle this radical movement, but that’s just me.
What about overlays? Well, there are a number of churches who place lyrics over a live video feed. First of all, this is a whole other ball game. Unless you are a Mega Church, I think this is a waste of your people. Image magnification is important in large churches with thousands of members. The audiences must feel attached to the people on stage, so they have to see them. But if you are a small church, or even a mid-sized church, I would seriously consider waiting a long time before building that fourth wall between you and your people. After all, how is the cute bass player supposed to avoid celebrity status if we keep showing him on screen in his tight Emo Jeans?

Number 2:
A PROGRAM CIRCUS.

Don’t get carried away by programming the death out of your time. Pick a few illustrations, use one or two videos maximum, and spend time in worship. The Word, Worship, and Fellowship should be the focus. It is great if your church has spent its time building incredible worship environments. I am all for building comfortable and relevant places to worship. It is when your church begins to use that space and time for too much, that things can get icky. Churches that spend thousands on video and film can make the mistake of over exposing their people to the medium. I think there is a danger in building a fourth wall between the teaching staff and the people when we get carried away creatively. From a stage it isn’t hard to do. I am thinking of a church in my head that isn’t far away from where I live. I have to admit that at first I thought this church was pretty cool. Their creative department amazed me. On top of a medium budget video/film department, they had a full drama department and a set design team. It reminded me of my days in theater at Georgia State. The pastor gave these creative types his message and they added the illustrations for him. Then they talked shortly with the music department who decided which secular song to tie in along with the worship set. Then the drama team wrote a script for their illustration. After that the film/video team then created a series of videos or short films that again illustrated a different part of the message. Then in this case the church decided that for some reason they needed to put a rollercoaster on stage. Are you getting all of this?

It’s important that you know that I am not criticizing this churches activities. I have come up with some pretty crazy ideas myself. We have had half-pipes, and video walls, and giant foam things… I spent one December pulling 50 gallon drums out of junk yards to place fog machines in and I’ve built sets out of tagged privacy fences and light posts. We themed out everything you could think of in the youth camp world. So, I can’t say I never thought like this, I did once upon a time. I’m sure that some of you are wishing you had the budget to do something like these guys, especially since they did everything with excellence. Well, mostly everything. My point is that after all of this the pastor spoke for a few minutes finally giving this message that we had already heard 12 different ways, I was just baffled. It was simply too much information, to much entertainment. A fourth wall went right up. I’ve always had a philosophy that we show the people, or tell the people, never both. Videos or other means should be used to enhance preaching.
The crowd gave a standing ovation and screamed approval. As people walked out of the building I listened to them tell each other how great everything was. I suppose they were right, it was an amazing production. It put most camps I’ve worked at to shame and that includes the time we rented a LED wall for 50,000 dollars to use for only three days. To this day I consider their church “A Christian Theater.” With all the illustrations flying around I was more shocked than spiritually challenged. With such a range of entertainment devices I sat their asking myself, “Did that just happen?” At any moment, I expected a clown to be shot out of a cannon. I felt like I was in an old movie or perhaps a play. The King sits high up on his thrown and is being entertained by jesters and jokers. He sits there and decides if it is good art or bad art, and if it’s bad he kills them. In this case the art was very good.

My point to all this is that, in all the time it takes to create a weekly Christian Theater, creative types could be doing much more.  If God speaks to your heart through all that, then wonderful, I’m not saying it doesn’t have its place. That is great. I’m happy for you. Maybe your church is the opposite though. Remember, just because your church is broke financially doesn’t mean you are useless. Just because you are in a backwoods Baptist Church doesn’t mean you can’t apply technology in an effective way, but it doesn’t mean you have to be like anything else out there either. Never envy what is going on down the road, and never try to become someone else’s church. If you want to be like that, join them. If you do not have the funds to do everything another church is doing, I am here to tell you that you can still use creativity to point our people to the cross. I believe that something is beautiful about simplicity and you should think and pray about where it is that God has you now and how to best use your resources in a way that helps your church rather than burden it. Church starts especially can be kind of like college grads. (Now that they are out of Mom and Dad’s house and fresh out of school they assume they can start at the same level their parents were at when they left home. So in a matter of months they try to get just as big of a house as the folks took 20 years to buy.) Credit card companies and home mortgage companies love it. Churches need to grow from the bottom up. We need to pay the most attention to our people and community first and then grow into bigger and better worship gatherings. Plant roots. Not hype.

NUMBER ONE ON MY ALL TIME DESERT ISLAND TOP FIVE LIST.
MISSPELLED WORDS.

The bottom line is that misspellings make us all look like idiots. The individual running the slides has a lot of pressure on them. If they didn’t before, I’m about to lay it on them. The person leading your lyrics is a “primary” worship leader. You are just as important as anyone on the stage. The words on the screen are what lead the singing going on. While your worship leader hopefully doesn’t rely on them, everyone else does. The slides should lead not follow your worship leader. The person running the slides should know the songs as well as the guy behind the mic if not better. When your lyrics are all jacked up, no one knows what is going on. This is the moment you can see what might be the funniest reaction in all of churchdom. It is the moment when those in worship, with hands raised, notice the wrong lyrics are up. They realize they have just sung the wrong words and now they glance around the room hoping to find the right words somewhere else. It’s kind of funny to me, but not worth the mistake.  Before each service talk with your worship leader, make sure the presentation is in order, and make notes on how many times he plans to repeat, “Open the eyes of my heart Lord.”

Video is the modern day stained glass window. Just like stained glass windows of medieval churches, video screens and media are a sacred part of contemporary worship centers.

I love stained glass. I love walking through old churches, wherever they may be, and seeing the images from so long ago. They are more than a piece of religious history; they are a form of storytelling that seems to be all but lost today. Back in the yawns of history, members of the clergy were the only ones with allowed access to scripture. The illuminated images of depicted bible stories often were the only connection the illiterate congregations had to the Word of God. The pictures on the windows were a way for the public to experience many stories from scripture and at the same time were the pride of many church officials. However, everyone did not accept these “picture windows”. The Reformation led to many rocks being thrown and windows broken. You could say that many Christians of that time period believed that the images weren’t doing God justice.

Martin Luther’s buddy, Andreas von Karlstadt began a theology that logically attacked the “idolatry” of the Catholic sacraments. He published a pamphlet in 1522 entitled, “On the Abolition of Images,” he said that like Catholic religious rituals, images were of human manufacture, led to idolatry, were against the 2nd commandment, and should be destroyed. Luther wasn’t thrilled. He thought idolatry was an issue secondary to the message of salvation and both the veneration and destruction of images were “works.” To Luther, these human actions against art didn’t matter because sinful men did them. He was basically saying that running around and throwing rocks at windows and busting apart statues was going to be a huge distraction from the growing need for faith. Any youth pastor can probably tell you this. However, faith sometimes doesn’t fulfill like the immediate satisfaction that comes from breaking something. People were ticked off and they wanted to send a clear message for religious change. There aren’t many windows left from that time period, but many were saved. Some reformers such as “Zwingli” had no fundamental opposition to visual arts in church and tried to stop the destruction of stained glass windows. He did believe that the existence of images of holy people would lead to the worship of them though. He recommended what I think would have been a better idea and had statues and windows removed and replaced by something more boring. Many reformers believed it was Christ’s divine nature that was to be worshipped, and that could not be represented visually. To the reformers, false worship was idolatry, and so visual arts went out the window… no pun intended there.

History lessons are valuable, as a matter of fact I wish I had known a little bit more about the history of my craft before I got into it. By the time I came along, a few centuries later, visual arts were cool again. Now I wonder, would reformers frown on us? Do we “worship” the way we worship? Do our bands and big screens stand in the way of worshipping God? For Karlstadt, visual images were a poor substitute for literacy, and images hurt more than they seemed to help. While the consequence of his pamphlet may have led to the destruction of many beautiful pieces of art, I believe what he was trying to say that it is better to teach the poor and provide them with the Bible, than to teach an interpretation of scripture on Sunday merged with a bunch of cool stuff to look at.  Our illustrations in the context of a christian church setting uses art as well as craft to support a message that headlines the service.  I wonder how effective is it to speak in a language easier for the masses to understand? We can clearly communicate a message, a point of view, or a specific teaching by using these means. However, the christian base that experiences this message isn’t given the instruction needed to use these same elements in day to day living. I think there is a current lack in engaging the masses of believers to use the tools of ministry to bring others to know Christ outside of the church service. Often we simply revert back to the nature of the arts we borrow from and Christian artist break into mainstream and become artists no matter their craft. The message may become watered down from the core truth of what they desired to express, or they become too preachy and cut themselves off from a general audience. What is Christian music? What is Christian film? What is Christian theater other that these art forms wrapped around a specific message. The audience today is not as illiterate to the art as it is the message and the understanding behind it. I am not debating the relevance, or how horrible the effects of video and music have become in encouraging the audience to stand still and be quiet.  I am arguing for the use of both biblical and creative workshops in the church. I believe this to be the best way to rise the efficiency rates in these areas. If we are to use arts which were birthed outside of christianity, then we should attempt to properly learn from experts outside of the church. We must learn the elements of visual storytelling, learn the crafts of screenwritting, and not only experiment until the point of satisfying our audience in the church. We must strive towards excellence in the craft as measured by the experts in these fields. The body of believers should then teach how to read scripture, and how to study the bible, without necessarily pointing to what a weekly agenda may want to instruct. Its is a wonderful starting place for understanding how to craft biblical truth into important social statements as well as entertaining and engaging material. Some believers have caught on and are doing this today. Some have decided to rid the church of its countless outside influences in program and instead prefer open-ended conversations about scripture and God’s work today. Usually these are open forum house churches not necessarily led by a single individual or “pastor.” They strive forward as believers in their separate fields of profession. Still others go on growing larger in ignorance to where traditions originated and what outside influences are used, and insulted I might add, within the church buildings which were a creation of established religion in their own right. Often they have the means, but lack the understanding of who their audience is. They more times than not develop a code language and create allusions toward truth for their church with the use of entertaining cultural references for the general public. In this they can go far and succeed on some level, but I think it is too much to think that the general audience, including expert craftsmen, will acknowledge their place in the art-form. However, I do think many have promise and may surprise me. I think another problem with this is that these kinds of artists have a hard time collaborating with others who may function in more traditional ways, because of their lack of understanding of craft, they are often left to accomplish everything themselves.

Today the light behind our images come from projectors, but our message still comes from scripture. Again we speak in visual parables; we use creativity to enlighten those that may not understand. With the entire world speaking this visual language it’s the truth that is rare, not the media. The truth in our work is what makes it sacred. Technology is everywhere. If you think technology by its own right is not worshipped then you’ve never been to Best Buy. My concern is how often it is worshiped in our church, instead of being used as a tool for the outside world? That’s the question. A video without the truth is just a video. Anyone can make videos. Therefore, if we are to use video/film in the current form in our churches, we must approach it with caution. We are using a dangerous device.

I’ve gotten more texts and calls than I have actual comments on this blog. I wanted to post this while we’re on the subject….January 16/17th 1991

It was my tenth birthday. Brandon, Josh, and myself needed weapons. Particularly, scud missiles. My brother Daniel, who was 7 at the time and very much into science and space exploration, was our solution. He had rockets, we knew he had rockets, we needed rockets, and so the plan to steal those plastic model pieces was not even a question. What would America do? Daniel didn’t put up a fight; he agreed to play along nice and peaceful like. Scuds were important on this particular night. We weren’t sure what a scud missile did, but we knew they were important. The TV taught us that the scuds looked like rockets attached to space shuttles as they fought the earth’s gravity on their way to conquer other worlds. My parents had the news coverage blasting as American fighter pilots brought hells wrath upon an evil empire for the first time. It was the night America would engage the enemy that was Iraq. We watched in excitement, trying to point out F-16’s and F-15’s that matched our micro machines. I had gotten the aircraft carrier a few hours earlier, along with a few new G.I. Joe action figures and a remote control dune buggy. While the adults all talked about Nostradamus predictions and a never-ending war in the kitchen, we strategically were staging a reenactment of the events on the television. We had become experts at the craft. I really do believe that I was taught the most about storytelling primarily from the reenactment of my favorite movies and tv shows. My brother learned “story” the same way, only against his will. “Back to The Future,” “Star Wars,” “Raiders of The Lost Ark,” and “G.I. Joe,” were reenacted in the soundstages of our bedrooms and the backlot we referred to as the backyard. “Batman,” “Rambo,” and Chuck Norris movies on TBS gave use to plastic weapons and countless hours with my brother in fenced in Gotham or Vietnam, respectfully. Now that it was January and colder we moved the cameraless movie making inside and were taking advantage of miniature set pieces and props. Everything had to be just right. We carefully listened to CNN like Saturday morning cartoons and attempted to mimic the location of Kuwait as compared to the Saudi Arabian and Iraqi borders. Whenever action figures came into play we had rituals in how things would play out. First, we set up the enemy base followed by the good guy’s base. Sometimes we took so long setting up the battle that Josh or Brandon had to leave before we even got things going. Tonight was different though. It was my birthday and we had all night to get things right. The excitement of the war on tv was only escalating as the hours passed and we were already creating the scud silos and moving the tan wax army men into position. I remember that we had filled one of the bathtubs with water for a toy aircraft carrier and several G.I. Joe rafts. I also remember that it was Luke Duke (Josh), Rambo (Brandon) and Snake Eyes (myself) versus Daniel, who strategically played the entire Iraqi military lead in part by Cobra Commander and the Iran Shek, (a WWF wrestling figure we thought looked like Sadam) Large or small, popular or generic, if the figure had a weapon it was going to war tonight. The ninjas turtles were even planning an ambush.
Years have now past, Saddam is dead, but war rages on. Maybe its different, maybe it’s the same, I don’t know. What I walked away with from those last days of childhood was simply imagination and creative processing. I sometimes think that something was and is wrong with me. Even today I have a hard time telling the difference between what is real and what is simply entertainment. My brother and friends all grew out of playing years before I did. Josh and Brandon were first the first to go, then a little while later, my younger brother. I think I only stopped playing because I lost people to play with… and the girls got breasts… that helped. My friends must have walked away with something else. I understand that I was in a generation that was strategically attacked by genius marketing and breakfast cereal selling brainwashing tactics, but what harm did it really do? I am still spending money on movies made from comic books and going to see Indiana Jones and Rambo reemerge with wrinkles. I actually enjoy it, that’s kind of the sick part. Brandon must have learned something else. I wonder if the years we spent planning wars in my yard have anything to do with the fact he’s fighting wars for real now. I don’t know. And knowing is half the battle.